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Old People…

I’ve always known that I don’t enjoy the company of old people. Call me intolerant if you want. Just remember, YOU chose to read this. Ever since I was a young girl, I thought old people were slow, boring, and nasty looking. Of course, I didn’t know the half of it. Later I found everything that happens to people when they age. I went to the Bodies Exhibit a few years back, and they were showing a chart of brain development. The reason for old people being unintelligent was finally aparent. As an infant, the brain is growing and developing rather quickly, taking in information and such. This is why it is crucial to make sure your child is getting as much education as possible. Not just in childhood though, because the brain continues to grow up until about age twenty. When a teenager thinks they know everything, they are wrong because they haven’t reached their full mental capacity. At age twenty, most intelligent people will realize they don’t know everything, and they never will know EVERYTHING. However, they are aware of their maturity level, their strengths and weaknessess, and their limitations. When I was eighteen, I used to laugh at all who were not “adults” yet because I was the smartest person in the world. Well, I learned two years later that you are only legally an adult at eighteen, and you’re biologically an adult at twenty.

So, at twenty our brains are swollen with knowlege, assuming you didn’t fuck yourself up by doing drugs, drinking, smoking, or just plain sleeping in school and refusing to do homework. We get to enjoy this vast, swollen brain for maybe… guessing about fifteen to twenty years… MAYBE. Then it starts to shrink, to shrivel, to DIE. This is maybe my worst fear. We start to lose brain cells. We grow… there’s no other word for it… stupid. I value my intelligence, even though I am not a genius. I feel like I’m one of the few smart people left… I mean, compared to a lot of idiots I see in this world, I AM a fucking genius. (If you could hear the kind of conversations Lauren and I get into, you’d be like, “what the fuck?” Because they are all deep and scientific, questioning the way our bodies and minds work, or how nature works, etc.) Part of me feels guilty about hating old people because they are slow, ugly, and stupid… I know they can’t help it. But I’m scared. Not only do I value my intelligence, I also value my looks. I know I’m not ugly, so I try my best to keep my skin looking as great as I can without harming it, hoping that I can delay the wrinkling process as long as I can. I don’t want to be ugly, but I’m against plastic surgery. A fragment of my being secretly hopes I die at forty, but god knows I don’t actually want to die. I just hope god keeps me pretty for as long as possible… but he has more important things to do than worry about me. I don’t blame him. This world has gone to utter crap.

All of this asside, I don’t like how MEAN old people are. I mean, I’d be grumpy if I was stupid and ugly too, but they could at least try to treat people nicely. I think they hate everyone. And people are retiring a lot sooner than they should, so they are taking all of our tax money! They are horrible drivers and are slow in line at stores, and they force their family to take care of them as if they were a baby. They are just a huge inconvenience. At least babies are cute, and we know they’ll be intelligent in a few years. I don’t know if you’ve noticed… but seven year olds are freakin smart. Seven, eight, and nine, I’d say. I played checkers with a nine year old who nearly matched my skill. If I decide to have a kid, (and I hope it’s a girl,) she’ll be a genius. I’ll give her everything my mother didn’t give me. When we’re at a store, I want her to get excited about a pretty dress AND a book explaining the complexity of space. I will be honored if she’s more intelligent than me… of course, I wasn’t given the greatest opportunity I could have gotten… thanks mom and dad.

Long story short… I really hate old people. We should have a giant retirement home to send them to… like Alcatraz, only for old people instead of deadly criminals.