It’s fascinating, really, how the mind weaves dreams into either utter chaos, uncertainty, and randomness, or complex overarching tales that are revisited and progressed forward days, months, even years after they started. I can’t make sense of this phenomenon, and I’m not sure who can, but I’ve noticed it many times in my life, now having three instances where my dreams have continued a story. It’s like when I fall asleep in this reality, I wake up in a new one, going about my days normally.
However, my tasks in that other reality are anything but normal. I will explain the very first instance of continuing dreams. This storyline has been going since my childhood. When I was a kid, I wanted very badly to fly. This was my urge to escape the confines of her violent hands. I did not understand that humans could not fly, but when I fell asleep, that no longer mattered.
I began to learn to fly. Sometimes I had help, a teacher to tell me what I should and should not do. Other times, I had to practice by myself. It took many years to learn to fly in my dreams, but I eventually got the hang of it as a young adult. Sometimes I still struggle, but otherwise, I can fly freely. These dreams have shown me my own struggle with learning how to do this, and I have many times mentioned to dream people, “I am only learning how to fly right now.” In dreams after I learned, I have periodically said, “it took me years to learn how to fly.” It’s as if I was taking a journey in my mind while asleep, getting closer to my goal over the span of uncountable years.
The second storyline is one that started after I graduated high school. Now, everyone has school dreams, and they don’t stop after you finally are able to leave. However, in my school dreams, I am not my teenage self, but my present self. I have voluntarily gone back to high school for another four years to graduate for a second time.
I’ve had the normal struggles: finding my classes, accidentally losing my schedule, not remembering the code for my locker, trying to remember which periods I had breaks between, trying not to be late for school, and trying to remember which bus I had to take to get home. Not only that, but all of the students eventually get familiar with the fact that this twenty-something year old woman is working on her second high school graduation, as do the teachers.
I can leave at any time. I don’t have to be there, I’m not required to do any of the work, and I can miss as many days that I want… this just means I’d be giving up my goal of graduating a second time. Naturally, school is just as annoying as it always was, so there are days where I consider giving up and just not going anymore. However, something tells me to wake up to my cell’s alarm each weekday morning, do my makeup, and take the morning bus to school.
I hang out with friends, though my real self doesn’t know their names. I often have problems socializing with anyone I’m not close to, which, again, is normal. It’s difficult to find certain classes when the layout of the school changes every couple of dreams, or I look at my schedule and that classroom doesn’t exist. But I managed it, I graduated a second time to add to my GPA, getting a seven point something. Because, ya know, you can totally do that.
I thought I was done with it, wondering what I was going to do now with two high school diplomas. Well, apparently I decided that seven point something wasn’t high enough, so I am currently attending school for another four years. I don’t know why I decided to go back, I mean, it’s not like I miss it. Sure, there are a couple things I miss, but otherwise, school was hell. It’s a little easier this time around for some reason.
But then… just recently… this third storyline began. You know how I just said school had been hell? Well, now I have a job… in actual Hell. Yup. I am not sure if I died or not, but I first went to Hell a few months ago. I was confused, not remembering dying, and I was asking everyone else where I was. Apparently, all of these other people worked for the devil, who preferred to be called Mephistopheles. Because that name is so long, I’ll just call him Satan in this blog.
Now, I have to make this clear: I AM NOT SATANIC. I don’t believe in the devil. I’m non-religious, which means I don’t believe in even having a religion. But apparently God and Satan both exist in this second realm I live in. Maybe I did die. Heh, I was surprised by my death, not by where I ended up.
We all congregate at this huge mansion. It’s practically never ending. It’s always extremely dark outside, almost to the point where you can’t see unless you have a flashlight. Inside the mansion, it’s dimly lit by mostly neon bulbs, which is pretty cool. We all have to take turns with maintaining the house, having a white board that shows who does what chore for the day. Aside from that, we also have the actual jobs which we get paid for. I’m not sure what this currency is we use, but it’s just a bunch of dull yellow coins.
On like my second day there, a girl told me Satan wished to speak with me personally. Apparently this was rare, and it either meant something really good, or… torture. You can’t die again, but you can definitely feel pain. She didn’t know which it was, so I was terrified, and also excited. I mean, this was my boss, as well as the most important being in Hell. You don’t get fired if you lose your job, you get eternal damnation!
So I slowly made my way toward his office, having trouble walking like I always do in dreams, and ended up floating there instead. Floating is a bit harder to control than flying, and sometimes I go in directions I didn’t mean to go, but I got there. His office is large, cluttered, and… checkered. Seriously, the floor and the walls are black and white checkers. I sat in front of his desk, but he was turned away from me. As soon as I sat, he spun around, and my heart jumped into my throat, partly because of him being my very scary and evil boss, but also because he was extraordinarily attractive; I had never seen him prior to this meeting.
To my surprise, he was smiling kindly at me. He told me how he picks his employees, and that’s by reaching into people’s minds and finding their inner evil. He only chooses the most demented and ruthless people to work directly under him. (As a side note, I’m super badass in the dream realm, and I don’t hold back my urges. I worked for the Yakuza, but got fired because I was too ruthless, and other than that, I’ve killed a lot of people just from anger.) Everyone already knows how he chooses them, and they take great pride in it, but I told him I was confused as to why he was telling me this personally.
“Because I’m looking for a protégé,” he told me. “Someone who is nearly as evil as I am, you know, to train, to have someone to take over in emergencies.” He explained that he was very impressed with my lack of empathy, as well as my willingness to torture and kill. He said I was the most unmerciful person he’s seen in Hell since… well, he said some serial killer’s name, but I can’t remember who exactly it was. He was choosing me to be his protégé.
I was scared. “What if I’m not very good?” I asked him. “What if I fail you?” He told me I wouldn’t… how he was so sure, I had no idea, but this was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up for something as trivial as fear. I’m in Hell, I wouldn’t last five minutes if I didn’t let go of my fears. Besides… he was sexy. Can’t argue with a man that has a face and body like that. He’s no goat-man, trust me.
I mainly fly everywhere because walking is tedious, but sometimes I’m reduced to walking when in the mansion. I’m not gonna lie, I always refuse to do the chores by saying, “oh, I forgot to look at the schedule,” so someone else has to do them. There are two girls I don’t get along with, one really skinny and pretty Latina, and a very large and muscular girl whose ethnicity I can’t quite figure out. They always push me around, and they’ve sent Satan complaints about me not doing my chores. He’s never spoken to me about this, so I assume he doesn’t give a shit. He treats me kind of special.
The work we have to do involves going to the “real world.” So, it’s the dream realm’s version of this realm. It’s more like this realm, but you can tell things are sort of different. There are never any stars out at night, civilization is more progressed, and daylight isn’t excruciating. Sometimes we have to go up, invisible to the living eye, and manipulate the environment. We have to cause minor to major accidents, whisper in people’s ears to get them to do something, or tweak the weather. I remember one day I was working with two guys that I was on good terms with, and we were at a skate park. One guy was causing the skaters to fall off of their boards, while me and the other guy were making up fake news reports on the radio they had. It was hilarious.
Satan is able to communicate with us telepathically, and we all have been given different powers to aid us. For example, we can teleport and move very quickly. Teleportation took me some time to get used to, but I get more one-on-one time with Satan than everyone else does. After getting used to the basics of the job, he gave me a special assignment that is usually for the higher-ups. I had to crash a high speed train that travelled on tracks above a city instead of on the ground. It was at night, so it was hard to see, and I had to track the train down myself. There was a lot of teleporting involved, but I finally managed to catch up with it, short circuit the wires that powered it, and caused it to fall off of the tracks.
I noticed a lot of jealousy after returning to the mansion and collecting my payment at the career kiosk. Some asked me why I, a rookie, was allowed to derail a train. I told them, “that’s what Satan asked me to do, so I did it.” I was supported by very few, for I don’t have many friends there, but Satan praised me immensely. I’m rather disliked because of all of the time I get to spend with him, like he considers me a friend instead of just a student.
Other jobs to be done are to kill living people when it’s their time to die, and drag them to Hell if they’re not sucked up into the sky by God. I had to visit Heaven once to speak with God, and all of the angels glared at me. It’s not like I wanted to be there. Sempai had been permitted to visit me in Hell, but she accidentally stayed too long, so God locked her away in his prison. Satan told me to go up and plead with him, tell him it wasn’t her fault, so I did. I wasn’t supposed to fly around him because it was rude in Heaven, so I had to awkwardly walk into his chamber, nearly slipping on the tile. Long story short, God agreed to free my best friend. Why she was dead, I will never know.
Sometimes I do feel like more than a student, and not just because of my special privileges. Satan has me keep him company for most days, telling me funny stories, making fun of his other employees, and just hanging out. He’s really chill when he’s in a good mood. Now, this is what’s going to sound weird, but it’s just how things are done in this business. There’s a select few with whom he’s formed romantic relationships with, and I was shocked when I was no longer an exception. Yeah, it’s normal, and considered an extreme honor. Basically, if you’re sleeping with the devil, you’re the shit. I didn’t really have a choice, but I didn’t try to refuse either. Dream Mike (who is also dead) said it was okay, and he actually said, “you better get in the big guy’s pants!” This version of dream Mike is different than the bad dream Mike, who is very much alive, but I’m trying to kill. If I kill him, I’m hoping he won’t show up in my dreams anymore. He’s the meanest, most selfish, and abusive douchebag you can imagine.
Anyway, I’m considered very important, and Satan remains my only true friend because everyone thinks it’s unfair that he plays favorites with me. It doesn’t bother me much. As long as I stay on Satan’s good side, no one can touch me. However, last night I made him really mad, and he almost dropped me completely.
So, I’ve become pretty selfish with him, and I don’t want to share him in any sense of the word. But besides me, he’s got like two other girls and one guy, and I always get really jealous when they’re around. Still, I seem to be the favorite, even though the two chicks are way hotter than me. I guess Satan prefers the mind more than the body. I started to get possessive, and even began beating the shit out of the guy, as well as insulting the girls. Well, this annoyed Satan, and there is no in between content and angry, it’s either one or the other.
First, he starts giving me the silent treatment, throwing me into an empty dimension so I couldn’t find him. He wouldn’t talk to me, and it was upsetting. This dimension looked like an every day suburban house, complete with bedrooms that belonged to children. However, no one lived there. I started to try and plead with him, telling him I was sorry for being a leech, and that it wouldn’t happen again. I thought he had forgiven me when he made a hamster appear in the house for me to play with and love.
I spent a few hours with the hamster, but I don’t remember the name I gave him, and Satan eventually showed up in the house. I went to hug him, but he pushed me back so violently, I fell onto the floor. Then, in front of my eyes, he ate the hamster I had bonded with. I cried, apologizing over and over again, pleading for forgiveness. He knelt down next to me and pet my head.
“I do this because I care about you,” he said. “What you did hurt me, and you needed to be taught a lesson. If this happens again, you’ll never see me again, and the rest of your days will be nothing but agony and misery. Do you understand?” All of this was said so gently and kindly, but it still scared me. I told him I’d never do it again, so he brought me back. I guess he wanted to test my loyalty after all of that, so he made me engage in a sort of orgy with him and the other three. Just to make him happy, I didn’t put all of my focus on him, and started making out with one of the girls.
For my act of… uh… participation, I guess? He rewarded me by bringing Rem and Ezio back to life. I cried again, but from happiness, and I hugged him. I don’t think he really wants to hurt me, but he’s the law, so he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do. He really is much more caring toward me on a regular basis. Hopefully I can avoid pissing him off again. It may sound crazy, but I like being his student/friend/mistress (?). I guess. Whatever I am to him. He gives me attention that I like, that’s it.
And it’s not like these storylines are all separate, no. I’ve learned to fly, and go to school, and work as Satan’s protégé in Hell. And of course, on the side are my other dreams, the ones that seem to have no rhyme or reason. I always know, though, I always know about the things I do, and even talk about them. In fact, half the time, I’m actually lucid. When I had that meeting with God, I told him, “sorry, sir, I have trouble walking in my dreams because my real body is laying down.” Night before last, I had a nightmare where I was screaming, “Michael! Wake me up! Hurry, wake me up!” but it didn’t reach my vocal chords, so I didn’t scream out loud like I usually do.
Sometimes I can call on Satan for help in nightmares, and he takes me back to the mansion to escape. It’s rare, and I’m not sure why he can’t save me every time. It’s kind of frustrating when he doesn’t respond to my calls. Part of me assumes he’s busy, and then the lucid part says, “fuck, maybe he doesn’t exist in this dream.” I wish I had more control.
When I tried to kill bad dream Mike a couple nights ago, the pistol I tried to use had no bullets, and the only weapons I could find were ice picks, pins, and small screw drivers. He seems to be much fatter than real Mike, so when I stabbed him in the belly, it just sank into the fat. He sneered, “you can’t kill me.” I tried to find a knife, but I couldn’t find one anywhere. I’m afraid he might be controlling the environment in the dreams he appears in, making it so I can’t kill him. Maybe this truly means that, if I kill him, he won’t bother me anymore. He really causes me stress, but it’s nice to wake up to the real Mike and remember how he truly is. I need to find a way to arm myself before falling asleep. Problem is… I can’t control my lucidity.
Are dreams just dreams, or are they something more? Are we really going to a different realm and living a second, immensely different life? How is it that my mind has given me this second life that’s just as dynamic as living a real one, just… unrealistic? Well, one thing I know for sure is…
I’m REALLY badass in the dream realm. XD