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Christmas is a Scam

A majority of America celebrates Christmas every year, and even a few other countries celebrate it. But what has it become? I’m sure, maybe a few hundred years ago, it used to be about family, and presents were given as a way to show your loved ones that you appreciate them. It was also about celebrating the birth of a baby from a supposed “virgin,” whom we all know was lying about it, she just didn’t want anyone to know she was a slut, so she claimed her baby was “the son of god.” That wouldn’t fly in this day and age.

Religious bullshit aside, seriously, Christmas is nearly a cancer now. It’s just an excuse to spend ridiculous amounts of money for people who don’t deserve it. Little kids want game consoles, the newest phone, the top gadget on the market, and you go out and get it for them so you don’t have to hear their sniveling and crying. No one appreciates a hand-knit sweater anymore. Just like every holiday, Black Friday and Christmas are just a market ploy.

Oh yeah, Black Friday. “These sales are one time only! And you can only get these items at three o’clock in the morning! You should all fight each other to the death to get this stupid crockpot!” More bullshit. You know very well that these sales aren’t “one time only.” In fact, most Black Friday “sales” last the entire weekend! Not only that, but they’re usually no different than their usual sales! They just bait you to buy more, more, MORE! Then there’s the internet, where you can find that same crockpot any time of the year for that same “sales” price.

Every Christmas commercial you see is pushing product. They are all advertisements, and for what? Some toy that your kid will get bored of in about two weeks and never play with again? A watch that your husband will accidentally break at work? A priceless necklace that your girlfriend will pawn as soon as you break up? “Give us your dirty money and buy, buy, buy!” That’s Christmas.

Because of product demand, people have to work on Christmas. They don’t get to be with their families, they don’t get to enjoy the company of their loved ones. They have to deal with a shit ton of impatient and disrespectful customers clambering to spend money they don’t have on things that no one needs. I’ve worked Christmas two out of the three years I worked at Walgreens, and it opened my eyes to what the holidays really mean.

Excuses. That’s all it is. Spend money, eat more food than usual because you’re totally not already a fat ass, and drink your liver away. Sing stupid carols that mean nothing anymore, just old timey religious propaganda. Watch little Timmy open his presents, just to see his face fall because he wanted the blue Mega Man, not the red one.

Then there’s the lying. Yes, my friends, you know what I’m talking about. Santa Clause! What is the point of telling your kid he’s real? For fun? Lying is fun for you? Or maybe you just want them to make you cookies. I deduced that Santa Clause wasn’t real when I lost a tooth and witnessed my grandmother placing money under my pillow, even though she thought I was asleep. Why do they even pay us for losing teeth anyway? I wasn’t too upset at the time, but, as an honest person, I don’t see what you get out of lying to your children. It would be good for them to know the truth so that they don’t live in their fantasy world for too long. Not enough children understand that real life is going to literally suck all of their happiness out of them when they grow up anyway, might as well start early.

I don’t have family to spend the holidays with, but I do have my boyfriend. My boyfriend who is working on Christmas Eve and day. My best friend has her own family to be with. I’m alone on a holiday that’s supposed to represent peace and love, when in reality, it represents greed, selfishness, and advertising. And you know what’s worse? We fall for it every year! Every single year!

And every holiday is the same; Valentine’s Day, Easter, Fourth of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and every other meaningless holiday in between. “Spend more money!” That’s all it is. I make presents for people, I put in hard work to create something for the people I appreciate. And you know what? If I get something in return, cool! If I don’t, that’s cool too, the person didn’t spend money on me. I’d prefer a home made gift any day, or even a Happy Meal toy over “the next big product.”

Just another excuse for corporations to suck us dry, when we barely have the money to support ourselves in this country that revolves around money, a country where everything is so expensive, only the rich people can afford anything, a country that bows down to the rich instead of focusing on those of us who are struggling just to keep a roof over our heads.

Yet still, I make a Christmas parody song every year, as if I truly enjoy the holiday, when I’m just catering to my fans. Though last year’s parody did express my thoughts and feelings pretty accurately: It’s Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Christmas (parody song)

Fuck holidays, we’d all be better without them.

 

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