Just real quick-a-like. I had another dream about that friend who went kookoo for cocoa puffs, L. So, I guess L, M, and I were on a bus with a bunch of other people, heading to a convention or something. M went to sit next to me, and L sat behind me, starting to cry because she hated M so much and thought she took me away from her. Well, I grabbed L and pulled her into a hug, finally getting fed up with all the bull shit, and actually telling her how stupid she was for thinking what she thought. Somehow, she seemed to finally understand what I was saying, and she sat between M and I. She still didn’t like M, of course. However, M put her hand on L’s and said, “I really missed you guys. I missed everything being normal again.” And then she completely disappeared out of thin air. Then, for some reason, I began to tell L how I like when Vegeta is angry, and I told her about the episode of DBZ where he finds out Gohan took the dragon ball he had hidden in the bottom of a Namekian lake. He was PISSED. And then I either had a different dream, or woke up. I don’t remember.
The thing that got me was what M had said. What’s more is, that is definitely something she would say if she found out L had finally come to her senses and went back to her old self. The thing L doesn’t get is, M never talked shit about her and never said to ANYONE, “you shouldn’t be friends with her.” Of course, she talked about what had happened with her, and it was told the exact way I would tell it, like to my grandmother when she asked, “what’s new with L?” Answer: “Well, she went crazy, and now she’s not talking to me.” But, even though M is much too (using this term lightly for lack of a better word) scarred by what L did, and she’d never attempt to be L’s friend again, she’d admit to be glad to hear L had come back to me as her old, fun loving, intelligent, rational self.
I like to explain it as L having her own Annatier. When I had a breakdown from not taking my medicine one night, Michael had to calm me. When I was finally brought back to real life, and he had forced my medicine down my throat, he told me I was like a different person when that happened. And that’s when Annatier was born. I was always fascinated with the idea of a “dark side” of me in the fictional world, but I could never really grasp a specific character. Actually, I had always struggled with a permanent character design for myself as well. It wasn’t until I animated a short cartoon on paper for my 21st birthday video that the Reitanna character had an official design. Anyway, I created the design for Annatier on the back of an email slip at work, and she couldn’t have been more perfect. She made her first appearance in the “Bubble Time” video, where she actually “interrupted the broadcast” so to speak. It was a warning, notifying my watchers that she was going to show herself. Her second appearance was in her first official cartoon, “Introduction to a New Face.” There, she explained to me of who she was and why I hadn’t seen her before. Of course, the part that was left out was the reason I never noticed her before I was on “Happy Candy,” which is my medication. That’ll be something Annatier will explain later, but I’ll explain it now.
So, before I was on meds, I was basically in denial that something was seriously wrong with me. I always told people “I don’t need medication, I’m fine.” Meanwhile, I’d either be overly happy and hyper, or I would have massive breakdowns that ended up causing me and my friends a lot of grief, and gave me a horrible reputation in school; people didn’t understand that something was actually wrong, and I needed help. I’m sure there were other people with these same problems, but did they admit they understood? No. Because they were afraid, just like I was. So that denial is why Annatier was never visible, because I couldn’t tell the difference between me and her. Then, after seeing just how different I was when I was stable, I realized that I really WAS messed up. So Annatier showing herself signifies me noticing a difference in my behavior. In “Introduction to a New Face,” it begins with me seeing that my “Happy Candy” bottle is empty, which is not good. So Annatier shows up, and of course, I’m alone. I don’t like being alone when this occurs. Annatier explains who she is, and she shows the negative side, telling me the things I actually hear when I am depressed; Everyone will betray you, no one really loves you, you can’t trust anyone. Of course, this scares the shit out of me, and it cuts to me going to the “Farmasy” to get more “Happy Candy.” Because the cartoon hit a little too close to home, I had to end it with something ridiculous (aside from the “We offer free AIDS” sign on the wall.) So, I have a rave with Slender Man.
Here are Annatier’s first appearances:
So I guess that’s just a round about way of saying, “I HATE SAURKRAUT!!!” (I dunno how to spell “sour-krout.” XD) No really, so dark sides of people. Long story short, L has one of those. I won’t design a character for her’s though; one is enough. Little does L know, she actually has a cartoon character in my list of stock characters.
So uh… I gotta go withdraw rent money from the bank. While I’m at it, I should prolly withdraw the money I need to pay Geoff back for some tickets to this cafe thing we’re going to. WHEE! I don’t get out much. -_-
TO ZE BANK!! *runs away*