Spread the Word of Awesome!

approving comments

Hey, I’m sorry if anyone leaves a comment and it doesn’t get approved. I keep forgetting that they’re not automatically posted because I’m just not used to that. I’m going to try and pay more attention to that. Just let me know (I will see your message) if your comment seems to be missing or something.

In other news: I walked all the way Downtown with Michael and mom without my shin splints. NO PAIN. I’ve never been so happy to get my lazy ass out of my chair. It’s one thing being lazy by choice, but being lazy because you literally can’t walk? I’m never letting that happen again. Also, I finally have my outdoor bike, so more exercise there! I’M GONNA DO IT MOTHER FUCKERS! I’M GOING TO BE HOT AGAIN!!! NO, HOTTER THAN EVER! I WILL HAVE SELF ESTEEM!!!!

I CAN WALK!!!

I CAN WALK!!! I CAN WALK I CAN WALK I CAN WALK I CAN WALK!!!!!!! I CAN WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My legs are finally strong enough to hold my weight!!! Mike and I went out for Valentine’s Day (we often don’t do it on the 14th because he works, so we plan around it), and we walked around the mall and stuff, and my shins didn’t hurt AT ALL!!!! I’ve lost seven pounds in January, which helps, and I finally got my bike, I just have to reteach myself how to ride it (you actually can forget how to ride a bike), but oh my god, I CAN WALK. We went to Cheesecake Factory yesterday, which is Valentine’s Day tradition for us, so we’ll see how much that that set me back, but it won’t matter because I’ll lose it again…. but I can walk. I haven’t been able to walk for TWO YEARS without being in excruciating pain! Yeah, I’m a lazy ass, but it’s like staying in bed for more than two days; you get tired of it and you NEED to get up and do something. I am also working on my laziness this year, and I’m just going to remind myself of how bad it got, and it’ll be easy to not sit around so much. By December, I’m going to be hot and I will be able to wear EVERYTHING.

I’m also doing better with pulling my hair thanks to NAC, and doing much better at picking due to my skin care regimen and removing the tweezers, scissors, and pin from the bathroom. I’m going to be pretty again, I’m going to be a hot wife, and I’m going to be confident. I got dressed up yesterday (found a lolita dress in my closet that actually used to be too big for me, but fits me perfectly now… I’m so fat…) and wore the usual clothes I would before I blew up, and I felt more confident and happy than I have in years. It felt so good to be back in the clothes that make me happy, I felt like ME. I felt young again… and Mike LOVES it. XD

This is the year everything changes. And this time, I’m not going to hit a goal and suddenly decide that I’m unable to gain weight ever again. No, I’m going to keep my exercise regimen and make sure I stay between 110 and 120 pounds for the rest of my life. I just… need…. a boob job…………

I Have a Zanpakuto

On April 24, 2019, I wrote this DA Journal (I’ve proofread it for this post):

Bleach fans! Hello! I’m sure many of you have made Soul Reaper (Shinigami) OCs or given yourselves a Zanpakuto. I’m guessing it may’ve been difficult to come up with a sentient sword for you to connect with since, you know, it’s not real. Or is it? Well, no, it’s not, but it can be in essence.

It’s no secret that my dreams have continuing story lines, reoccurring “characters,” and multiple places that repeatedly show up. Well, for about a year, maybe two, I’ve had some dreams that have basically given me my Zanpakuto.

At first, the characters from Bleach would just show up like I couldn’t see them, but I could. It was always Ichigo and the captains, and along with them usually appeared Goku and Vegeta, Dante and Vergil, and some random characters capable of fighting because they always showed up when I was being attacked or something. The captains would never help me when I begged them to help, saying that I shouldn’t even be able to see them.

Eventually, I said, “well, if you won’t help me, give me Soul Reaper powers! Train me!” They refused for quite some time. Dream after dream, each time they showed up, I demanded that they train me, and I even stole Zangetsu from Ichigo and kept him as a hostage. That didn’t last long.

Finally, a Zanpakuto simply appeared in my hands without anyone giving me powers, and I said, “HA! now you HAVE to train me!!!” They were reluctant, especially Sui Feng, but Byakuya leaned more toward the, “let’s see what happens” approach, as in, “don’t train her unless she can figure out her Zanpakuto’s name.”

Time went on, and I still begged them to train me. Ichigo was ordered not to help me. I was mad because I had my goddamn sword. How was I supposed to learn its name without even knowing how?

Then, about a month or two ago, my Zanpakuto told me his name; it was Graver. It only made sense for it not to be a Japanese name since, you know, I’m American. He told me his name and I was able to summon his Shikai form, though I don’t remember his command. His Shikai looks like a long pole with a small ax head at the end and a ribbon-like piece of cloth tied on the pole (I can’t remember the color, but I think it was red). I wasn’t sure what graver could do, but playing around with him showed me that he was best for long range attacks, which makes sense since I hate getting too close to people I don’t know. Still, this wasn’t something very special, was it?

Then, just a few nights ago, me and an enormous group of people were going through this trial of survival. You could actually die, but like a video game, you respawned. I can feel pain in my dreams, so this was not fun. I was using my Zanpakuto (not in Shikai) and the Xtra gun, but I kept fumbling with them because I’ve been crippled in my dreams ever since the incident with Randy. I have been notorious for getting cut by my own sword because of this, and it fucking hurts.

Something appeared that was not part of the trial, and it was only attacking me. He was a humanoid male with long white hair, but he had black bandages over his eyes. He wore a black hooded cloak, countless black belts over his pale chest, black skin-tight pants that I assume were leather, and black boots. Normally, I’d find that pretty hot, but instead, I was terrified. Why was he just attacking me? He was carrying a scythe, but he never got too close to me. Instead, he was able to swing the scythe, throwing the blade at me, which would then turn like a boomerang back to it’s place on the pole. He killed me many times.

There was a guy at the respawn point that could give people tips before they tried the course again. By the way, getting through the course was a way to prove that you’ve become a skilled fighter. I desperately need to get better. Many people had told this guy about the cloaked figure attacking me, even the captains, but every time they tried to find him, he wouldn’t show up. After dying many times, the guy told me to close my eyes and just scream about things that made me angry. He said I needed to have a revelation on my own, to realize something about myself that would finally help me.

I screamed about everything that made me angry, he screamed stuff back at me, and finally I shouted, “I’M NOT A HERO!!” He shouted back, “THEN YOU’RE A VILLAIN?” I said, “NO! I’M NOT A VILLAIN! I’M NOT A HERO AND I’M NOT A VILLAIN! I’M JUST ME!!” And that was that. I had to realize that, even though I tried to fight evil, it didn’t change the fact that, sometimes, I was the evil. I wasn’t the good guy or the bad guy; I was just an average person that had both good and evil inside, and I needed to accept that I was incapable of being one or the other.

I went back through the course, looking over my shoulder for the cloaked man with the scythe. When he showed up and threw his blade at me, my Zanpakuto was able to block it and send it back to him, but it was still a very strong blow, and I wasn’t sure if Graver could take it. I’m not sure why I wasn’t using Shikai. I still died a couple of times, but finally, Graver transformed, but this time, it became a scythe identical to my enemy’s. I now was able to throw the blade as well. I actually managed to get through the course with only a little health left, but before I had finished, I saw the man spin his scythe clockwise, and it took on the form of Graver’s regular Shikai. That’s when I realized that the man was Graver. He showed me what his power was in Shikai form.

I hadn’t known what triggered my sword to turn into the scythe, but I figured I must’ve spun it clockwise without realizing it. Experimenting with it showed that, by spinning it like that, Graver could change from an ax to a scythe. As an ax, it was just a long range weapon, but as a scythe, it wasn’t just long range, it was also a projectile weapon, so its range was even longer. Plus, the blade was a lot stronger and could hit harder when thrown at an opponent.

So lo and behold, in a matter of months or so, I obtained a Zanpakuto, learned his name, discovered his true Shikai form, and fought/trained with his spirit form. This is way better than trying to come up with my own while awake because my mind literally chose this for me subconsciously without my say.

I wonder if I’ll ever reach Bankai.

Since I wrote that journal, I’ve figured out some stuff while awake and asleep. I think I saw Graver’s Bankai in a dream. The form is cloaked like he is, and the bandages or whatever on his eyes are on the forehead. There are belts, but the form isn’t shirtless or wearing leather pants, but is simply over the Soul Reaper uniform. Instead of holding one ax or scythe, there are blades under the forearms and wrist. The left blade is smaller, thicker, and like a circular ax, while the right is large, thin, and like a circular scythe. It’s hard to describe. They’re just there, not attached to anything. They can be used as melee weapons and projectiles, but the catch is, while they’re on you, they periodically cut the bases of your palms, almost like you have to make a self sacrifice in order to fight with Graver in Bankai form. This slowly weakens you on top of whatever you’re fighting, and you will eventually be forced out of the form. I’ve only used it once, so it didn’t last long. I imagine you have to build a tolerance to it in order to keep the form longer. Whether this was actually Graver’s Bankai, I’ve decided that it fits, so I’ma keep it.
I also called Graver’s Shikai by saying, “Rise up, Graver” in dream. Obviously the theme here is death… not sure why this was chosen for me. I honestly hoped for something super fun and cutesy, but I guess I’m so warped on the inside, it overpowered my desires to be cute and happy. It still amazes me how incredible my unconscious mind is, like it’s a completely separate entity. Off topic, my Harry Potter want is somewhat shaped like a Japanese dragon…
Anyway, while awake, I decided that the Soul Society we see in Bleach cannot be for the entire world, as it is solely based on Japanese culture, and appears to only have Japanese citizens. I’m not sure is Sui Feng is Chinese due to her name, but if she lived in Japan, that wouldn’t make her go to Chinese Soul Society, right? So my head canon is, each country has its own Soul Society, its own thirteen guards squad, its own Soul Reapers, etc. So the USA’s Soul Society would mimic our… “culture,” I guess. This means different uniforms and different swords that would not be “Zanpakuto,” and would not be shaped like katana. The literal translation of “Zanpakuto” is “Soul Cutter,” but I thought that sounded a little cheesy, so I’m calling them “Soul Sabres,” and here’s why. I settled on the American Sabre, even though it did not originate from America and existed long before we were colonized. Then again, has anything originated in America? We suck. However, the modern American Sabre has been used in the military since the civil war or slightly prior to it. Obviously they don’t use swords anymore because guns, but in ceremonial military marches, they can be seen carrying the sabres. Here’s an example of a sabre sword:
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I figured this was a nice design, especially since the Soul Society has existed for centuries, so they’d have definitely adopted a design we inherited from Europe (though it seems swords like this were also used in ancient Egypt if my research is correct). I personally think it’s a sleek and graceful design, easy to handle, light, and perfect for quick slashes.
I’ve also designed the American Soul Reaper uniform, but I haven’t drawn the final version. Also also, I’ve designed what Reitanna would look like in the Bleach universe as a Soul Reaper, following along with the story in my dreams, except I doubt she was trained by the Soul Reapers in Japan unless she was in Japan at the time… though she’s not fluent in Japanese because she still has a lot of my flaws. I mean, she’s not Perfect Reitanna, so yeah. Once I draw them, I’ll add them to this post, and once I get my DA back, I’ll upload them there.
Sometimes I really hate my dreams… but sometimes I really love them too.

This is copied from my DA.

“My dad once told me that, theoretically, I could be the most powerful super hero in existence; more powerful than any fictional super hero ever imagined… if all of my freakin powers would work one hundred percent of the freakin time!”
Poppy Roseflower was born with super powers… the thing is, she’s the only human in recorded history to have powers at all. Hiding it as a child was nearly impossible because she couldn’t control them, so her powers would go off at random times. Poppy became a media sensation, and was both loved and hated, though she was just trying to live her life…

Until a friend suggested that she should fight crime. So, she started pretending to be a super hero on the playground, trying to protect her classmates from bullies, but since she could not control these powers, she ended up hurting a kid. Her father, Chadwick Roseflower, is a scientific genius, so he decided to take it upon himself to try and help her learn to control her powers. After all… this WAS his fault.

Being a scientist, Chadwick dealt with a lot of chemicals and machinery, and though he was very cautious and careful, he didn’t bother to protect a certain part of his body from radiation, as he was sterile, or so he and his wife, Innette Roseflower, thought. They had been told they’d never have a baby, but one night, some of his radioactive boys got through, and the super powered baby Poppy was conceived.

Chadwick designed a small, ball-shaped floating robot for Poppy, named him Motor, and explained to her that he was not just a friend, but a device that would observe, calculate, and measure her powers so that both Motor and her father can study them. This way, they can each help Poppy learn to control what she’s capable of. When she got older, her control was still not ideal, so he built her the Xtra Gun (playing off her super hero name), which was a gun she could use against foes in the event that none of her powers were cooperating (an EXTRA power, if you will).

Poppy came up with the name “Xtraordinary Girl” when Chadwick told her that she was an extraordinary girl at a young age. She didn’t know what the word meant, so he explained it, and thus, that became her name. Her costume is pink with green trim, and there’s a large X on the front that also serves as the sleeves and neck hole. She also wears a green ribbon around her neck. The suit was later redesigned to have extra folds of fabric on the back so that Poppy could stretch them out under her arms and glide when her flying abilities failed. They decided to do this when Poppy was kicked off of a building by a villain, and none of her powers were working, but discovered a new one that saved her life: she turned into goo. The idea came from sugar gliders.

Presently, Poppy is nineteen years old, still lives with her parents, and tries her hardest to fight crime in the city, Totrapolis. She makes a lot of mistakes, but never gives up. When her story hit the media, it encouraged super powered villains to come to Totrapolis to try and fight her. They had previously hid their powers, afraid of ridicule, but after seeing her, they realized they could use their powers against the world that was prepared to shun them.

Poppy meets her biggest fan, a girl named Kuko Komuro, and they become very good friends, eventually falling in love. However, Kuko ends up getting kidnapped a lot by enemies to try and lure Poppy into a trap, so Poppy explains that they should not be together for Kuko’s safety. This breaks both of their hearts, but their love never dies, so the friendship becomes more of an on-again/off-again relationship. Poppy had never known she liked girls because her constant training made her too busy for the dating life.

Poppy was born with many powers, but during her life, she’s triggered or gained new ones. Some of her powers appeared after eating something, like accidentally swallowing bubblegum, or eating cotton candy. There are powers she was born with that she can control completely, such as super strength and speed running. She has also given most of her powers funny names, as she’s a silly girl who never truly grows out of her childish nature. Long ago, Chadwick realized that Poppy’s powers were stronger and more likely to work when she concentrates hard enough, so he told her to name them and shout them out loud, that way her brain was forced to completely concentrate on the one power. With some of them, she can simply whisper them. Saying “fly” never works with her flying ability.
Powers:

  • Tornado Ball – A swirling sphere that is made up of the same elements that makes a tornado. It’s not as strong as an actual tornado, but it’s still one of her strongest powers.
  • Aquafire Chaos – This is Poppy’s most powerful attack (aside from Last Chance). It’s not liquid fire, and it’s not boiling water, but some sort of impossible hybrid of water and fire that swirls around the opponent in a spiral and closes in on them. It doesn’t work if Poppy does not have enough energy.
  • Bubblegum Blast – Obtained after swallowing some bubblegum. Poppy can produce sticky pink bubbles of various sizes from her hands and shoot them at opponents. The pop on impact not only injures foes, but also covers them in sticky goo that prevents them from going anywhere.
  • Booger Body – After falling twenty stories from a building, Poppy found that her flying ability wasn’t working at that moment, and then that NONE of her powers were working. She desperately cries out for something, ANYTHING to happen, then accepts her impending death… until she hits the pavement as a gooey splat, completely uninjured. She exclaims, “Ew! I became GOOP?! What the crap?!” With difficulty, she manages to pop back up into her solid form. When she’s goop, she’s unable to get hurt by physical attacks.
  • Ice Cascade – Poppy is able to summon ice from the moisture in the air, and one of her most powerful attacks causes a cylinder of heavy, dense ice shards to fall onto her opponent from above.
  • NoClip – This is a power that rarely works for Poppy. Using this ability enables her to pass through solid objects.
  • Cotton Candy Crush – After eating her first bit of cotton candy, Poppy found herself able to produce spherical pillows of the fluffy sweet from her hands, about the size of a slightly larger softball. However, this power does nothing but gently bounces off her opponent… or anyone else. This power works quite often, which is frustrating, but she uses it as, not just a snack, but to playfully attack friends.
  • Shield – Poppy can say, “Shield” at any vocal volume to encase herself in an invisible ball that repels attacks. Sometimes she can add words like, “super,” “ultra,” and “impenetrable” to try and make it stronger. This actually works most of the time.
  • Invisible – Upon saying, “Invisible” at any vocal volume, Poppy can become 100% invisible, clothes and all. However, this one doesn’t work as often, and she only realizes she’s not invisible when someone sees her. Motor usually is able to let her know when it doesn’t work.
  • Night Light – Another ability that works almost every time. Upon saying this at any vocal volume, Poppy’s eyes will light up like flashlights, enabling her and anyone else to see in the dark.
  • Eye Beams – This can work non-vocally, but vocal or not, the percentage rate of the power working is very low. It was the first power she ever used. It happened right after she was born, and she was crying as the doctor held her. Red beams suddenly shot from her eyes and burned his toupee. Innette fainted when this happened, and Chadwick couldn’t speak for a few hours.
  • Light Paint – This power has a 50% chance of working. It’s not an attack, it simply lights up the tip of Poppy’s index finger, and she can write/draw in midair, the markings glowing. They stay put for a few hours.
  • Flamethrower – Poppy is almost always successful at this one. She can throw jets of fire from both of her hands. She can also snap her fingers and create a candle flame on the tip of her index finger by thinking of fire at the same time. She obtained this power when a villain set her on fire, and she discovered she was flame-retardant.
  • Tidal Wave – It doesn’t work very often, but Poppy can summon a giant wave of water that’s very destructive.
  • Freeze – After spoken at any vocal volume, Poppy can, not only turn liquids into ice, but encase an enemy in ice to temporarily keep them from moving. However, this power rarely works.
  • Pause – One of the rarest powers to work, Poppy can stop time until she says, “Un-pause.” When it works, sometimes it will un-pause without her saying so. It has a 5% chance of working the way she wants it to (that is, 5% of the 10% chance of the power working at all).
  • Redo – Another extremely rare power that allows Poppy to rewind time like a video so that she can redo an event. When successful, the chance of it working again lowers each time she tries.
  • Water Blade – Works most of the time. Poppy can create water from the air and control it, but it works as a sharp blade. However, if she thinks about water, it won’t be sharp.
  • Sparkle – A 50% chance of working, this power shoots bright sparkles from Poppy’s hands into the face of a foe, temporarily blinding them.
  • Last Chance – This power has a 0.1% chance of succeeding, and it only works when Poppy has been beaten to near death. Her entire body glows, and then forces an incredible explosion from her entire being, which is so powerful, it obliterates anything it comes in contact with. Once the explosion passes, Poppy will have gained just enough energy to keep her alive long enough to make a recovery, but she will faint and become comatose until she regains much more of her energy.
  • The Xtra Gun – A mechanical and chemical weapon that only works for Poppy, responding to her power signature. Her father built it for her when she was sixteen and still having difficulty controlling when her powers work. Its ammo are small, differently colored tablets, and each color of tablet works a different way. Red are simply plasma bullets, pink are plasma blasts that work when the trigger is held (the longer it’s held, the more powerful the blast), green heals an ally (poppy can eat them to heal herself, but they’re hard to make, so she has very few of them only for emergencies), purple are bullets that stun an opponent for a short period of time, yellow cause a quick burst of blinding light, and black completely obliterate the target forever (MUCH harder to make than the green, so it’s used for extreme emergencies, and sometimes she doesn’t even have one).
  • Flying – Non-vocal, but sometimes it doesn’t work, so Poppy has to use the flaps on her suit to glide. Sometimes she will involuntarily start to float like a balloon, and this made her father give her a mini grappling hook in her right glove so she doesn’t end up in the atmosphere.
  • Speed Running – Non-vocal, and Poppy can control it 100% of the time since birth.
  • Super Strength – Non-vocal, started working 100% of the time at age five.
  • Healing – As long as Poppy exists, she is constantly healing, though VERY slowly. She thinks of it like a life bar in a video game. It can take months for her health to go from 1 to 100%. It takes about a day for it to go from 99 to 100%. This makes injuries heal a bit more quickly than normal humans, as well as causes illnesses to pass sooner.

Motor:

Motor is an extremely powerful AI robot, sphere-shaped, the size of a grapefruit, and he hovers. He has an antenna on the top, which enables him to act like a smart phone. He’s also very cute. Motor has become Poppy’s life long best friend, and she cares very deeply for him, having him with her everywhere she goes. His main purpose is to keep track of Poppy’s powers to fully understand them and help teach her how to control them, but he also works as a container for the Xtra Gun’s ammo. Motor can also feel near-human emotions, and the maximum height he can hover from a gravitational surface is fifty feet. Aside from the Xtra Gun’s ammo, Motor can hold other small items, is waterproof on the outside (not the inside, so he can’t hold food or liquid unless it’s tightly sealed in a package), and heat resistant. Unfortunately, he cannot attack, but can use a magnetic force to repel attacks unless he gets too damaged. Because of this, Poppy will do everything she can to protect him during a fight.
Main Villains:

  • Octusa – A young woman with eight octopus arms protruding from her head that she can fully control, and they can stretch decently far.
  • Repeat – A genderless creature that can take on the appearance of anyone or anything. It has its own powers; it can’t copy abilities from anyone/thing else. When it’s not in the form of another, its humanoid body is completely black, no clothes, no hair, and the only facial features are its white eyes.
  • Thought Crime (real name: Farnes Guntworth) – A human man with unimaginable intelligence, and was friends with Chadwick in college. When working on a partner project together, Chadwick was offered a very exclusive and high paying job, as he seemed to be more capable than Farnes, and there was only one opening. Farnes was enraged, cutting ties with Chadwick, and festering in spite for many years. Once he saw his daughter in the media, Farnes was able to find out where the family lived, and he found his opportunity to seek revenge, having been planning it for a very long time. He is also a tech genius like Chadwick, so his “powers” are mechanical.
  • The Toxic Trio – A group of identical triplet brothers that acquired powers from a secret chemical experiment gone wrong. They gained powers that center around poison. Their names are Tibbit, Tickry, and Teddo Tinkerton. Some powers they each have are identical, but they also have individual abilities.
  • Soft Spot (real name: Bettie Soft) – A little girl that was born with powers like Poppy, but learned to control them almost immediately. She was forced to hide them from everyone, and became enraged once Poppy gained fame. She is the one who pushed Poppy off of the roof of that twenty story building. Most of her powers are different than Poppy’s, but she still has to shout their names out loud. She calls herself Soft Spot, not just because of her surname, but because she’s incredibly cute and innocent looking, so she can manipulate people into pardoning her wrong doings.
  • Unipolar (real name: Huss Gocha) – Another human born with powers, forced to hide, and spiteful toward Poppy’s fame, Huss suffers from Major Depression, but doesn’t take medication or see a therapist. He is very emotional, and these emotions not only enable him to use his powers without saying their names, but makes them unstable, so he can’t control just how strong they are. If he’s calm, he can fully control his powers. After quite a few encounters, Unipolar surrenders to his final defeat, admits to have fallen for Poppy (though she’s not interested), and he becomes an ally. Unfortunately, due to his depression, he is unable to help Poppy frequently, especially since he decided to seek treatment.
  • Killsey (real name: Kelsey Vugar) – Another human-born-super, Kelsey actually became inspired when Poppy’s fame hit. Being a few years older, she decided to come out and admit her powers to get fame (she didn’t care about fighting crime), but everyone thought she was faking. This made her angry, and she decided to prove herself by attacking her town, Garnesville, taking many casualties and causing a few deaths. She hadn’t meant to do that, she had just lost control, but this shock caused her to lose her sanity, and she became one of the most malicious and dangerous villains to rise up during Poppy’s life. She even starts calling herself Killsey instead of Kelsey, and is so strong, Poppy has failed each time to bring her down. When the reign of Killsey started, it got so bad, Poppy was desperately requested to come and fight her. Killsey’s number one weakness is her sanity because she will have confusing periods of time where she is appalled by her own actions, and she ends up running away until she strikes again. She often will ask Poppy to help her be good, but her insanity takes over and forces her to be evil. Killsey is Poppy’s number one arch enemy, but her empathy keeps her from destroying her, believing that there might be a chance for her.

Minor enemies:

  • Morp Master (Joshwa Denton)- A magician nerd in his senior year of high school. When prom came around, he was rejected by every girl he asked because he was basically the most unpopular kid in school, and his magic “tricks” freaked everyone out because they were too real looking… well, that’s because they WERE real. He decided to get his revenge by crashing his high school prom, using his magic to turn it into… sort of like an opposite prom… “morp.” It would be like a chaotic circus, harassing everyone in the room. The incident made headlines, but it was after the Morp Master’s second strike that made Poppy realize his revenge was not satisfied, so she made an appearance at the next prom. He showed up, and they fought, and in the end, Poppy told him that high school social life didn’t matter, that there was always someone out there. That’s when an unpopular girl from that school came forward and told Morp Master that she was impressed, and that, if he stopped attacking people, she’d like to get to know him a little better. Thus, Morp Master renamed himself the Magic Master, and decided he would try to pursue a career in show business, no matter how many people thought he was a freak.
  • The Licky – A giant tongue monster that ends up harassing the city, covering it in saliva.
  • Mangirl/Feman (can’t decide which) – A humanoid creature without genitals, one half of it’s body looking like a woman, and the other half looking like a man. It has really weird powers.
  • Poppy’s Appendix – Poppy has to get her appendix removed, but it gains sentience and tries to get revenge on her for apparently not being important enough.
  • Wah Wah Land – A strange lightning storm causes an amusement park to become alive, terrorizing guests and causing people to stay away from it despite how beloved it was. An electric fence is built around it, and Poppy is called to take care of it.
  • Mirror Mirror – A girl who can use reflective surfaces as portals.
  • The duckling – A normal baby duck that is apparently so unlucky, it unknowingly causes chaos wherever it goes. It, however, remains completely safe. Poppy is called to try and capture it.
  • Baby George Hefton – A woman’s baby has a troublesome power. When he gets extremely upset, the pitch of his voice becomes much lower, and is amplified to deafening levels. Poppy and her father try to come up with a solution to fix it.
I was afraid to share this idea because I was afraid someone would steal it, but upon doing further research on copyright laws, I found out that an idea can’t be copyrighted, but its expression can. An expression of an idea is fixating it into a permanent state. So since I have this saved to my computer AND am uploading it here, it is protected by copyright. That makes me feel better because I’m really excited about this idea… even though it may never happen.

I have a lot of dreams where I am a super hero with powers that don’t work all of the time. One day, right before Michael woke me up, the words, “extraordinary girl” were spoken in-dream, and I thought, “what a generic name for a super hero…” But the more I tried to think of something better, the more it stuck. Same with Poppy’s last name… the first thing that popped into my head was “rose flower,” and I was like, “I’m not going to name her Poppy ROSEFLOWER, that’s stupid…” But again, the more I tried to think of a better name, the more it stuck. Well, the premise of this idea was already pretty unorthodox, so I went with it.

I have never created a super hero (unless you count Powerpuff Girl stuff). I am not into super hero things, I don’t like DC OR Marvel, I don’t enjoy cartoon episodes with super heroes in them (like the Fairly Odd Parents with the Crimson Chin, the only one I liked was the one with the Crimson Chin action figure that said really funny things), and the only super hero movies I’ve ever enjoyed are The Incredibles and its sequel. (After I wrote this, I got into My Hero Academia, and I also enjoyed Into the Spiderverse despite me not liking Spiderman stuff.) But these types of dreams occurred so often, and they were so entertaining, I had to put it into something.

“Xtraordinary Girl!” would be a comic series with very cartoonish illustrations, and I even have in my head what it would look like. The target age group would be sixteen and up so that it can be both childish and comprehendible, with mild adult humor. This idea is so vivid in my head, it’d be the kind of thing I’d want to freakin publish

But you know my track record. I haven’t even released a page of PWF for a few years, and SHOCK only has two pages… Plus, even though I’m good at drawing, I honest to god would want someone to partner up with me and be my main illustrator. I’d most likely do most of the writing, since, over the years, I’ve realized I’m a much better writer than an artist, and my writing skills improve much more quickly than any of my other artistic skills. With this illustrator as my partner, we’d try to get published, and if it was successful, we’d share the revenue 50/50 unless I felt that their part of the work was much more tedious than mine… having many years of drawing experience, I can certainly understand how difficult and time consuming it can be, especially when doing a comic. My illustrator would have to be a much more talented artist than me for this to work.

So this is the first dream I’ve had in many years, since I’ve longed believed that dreams never come true. This comic series may never happen, but the idea being on the internet may open up opportunities for me in the future… no guarantees. This kind of thing isn’t as easy as in the movies or in TV. It sucks that I’m so stoked about it. I really think this could be successful; I even just explained it to Michael, who does like super hero comics and stuff, and he seemed impressed. My greatest ideas come to me when I’m asleep.

So… I dunno… if you’re out there Unknown Business Partner, let’s have a talk.

It will never happen. :<

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If you read my previous post, this is a continuation. That post was about a wonderful dream I had night before last. This one is about the horrible nightmare I had last night as punishment for having a good dream.

First, I need to mention that there are a few versions of Dream Michael. The one I’ll be talking about today is the one who enjoys playing horrible pranks on me. HORRIBLE. PRANKS. These also seem to only occur when I’ve gone out with him and his friends. Last night we went to IHOP with his friends J (boy) and S (girl). I had a good time even if I can’t look them in the eyes yet. I kind of regret not getting an omelet, but I thought I’d regret not getting pancakes. Whatever…

Anyway, Prank Mike usually puts together elaborate scenarios with his friends as actors (he has many more in-person friends in my dream world than in real life), and it’s like he’s trying to create a romantic surprise, but it warps into something mean and horrific. They keep getting worse too. Sometimes his excuse is, “I just wanted to remind you how much I actually love you!” Sometimes it’s, “I thought you’d find it fun!” Other times it’s, “that’s what you get for being annoying” (referring to how I am without my meds) or, “it’s just funny to see you get all scared like that.” Me: “But you know I can’t handle that!” Him: “So?” Most of the Mikes in my dream world are… NOT like the real Mike…

Last night was the worst one. Hands down. He took me to see his friends while he went to work. Note that I’m usually drugged during these pranks so that I’m too disorientated to think straight. I don’t think I was drugged quite yet. Also, as I’ve mentioned, I’m crippled in my dream world due to a variety of attacks and accidents, but I also have Xtraordinary Girl powers. I don’t exactly remember which people were J or S, so I’m just gonna have to give them names when I mention them. I met this one girl that I’m going to call Needles. She wasn’t very keen on talking to me, but I managed to ask her what she was doing. Another note… there are cameras everywhere to catch my reactions to everything. Prank Mike makes me watch them once the prank is over. Needles eventually admitted that she and two of her guy friends are trying to summon Satan, but it’s not working. Well, I just happen to be on very good terms with Satan, thank you very much, so I asked to see the ceremony. She’s unsure if she can trust me, but she leads me into a reddened room with candles and symbols scratched into the walls and floor. There was a bigger guy that I’m going to call Brute, and a skinnier guy with semi-long hair that I’m going to call Nails. There was a candle in this strange container with burning tissue paper around it, and Slipknot was playing in the background (not as part of the ceremony, but because Slipknot is awesome). Needles explains to me that lighting the candle and tissue paper should be the thing that summons Satan. I told her to show me what she lit it with, and she shows me a simple lighter. I tell them all that they need magic fire, and offered to complete the ceremony for them. I told them I had two things I could try, but I needed the music to be changed to Tool, specifically the album “Fear Inoculum.” It again, wasn’t part of the ceremony, it was just something I needed to relax and concentrate.

I have more powers than I gave to XG, and I continue to discover more in my dreams. While “Fear Inoculum” played, I did my relaxation thing and concentrated hard. The power I was about to use usually works, but I wanted to make absolute sure that it worked the first time because I wanted to impress these novices. Once I found my center, I called out, “Flamethrower,” and sort of shot my hand out in a curve. The flame went inside the container and ignited both the wick and the tissue paper. Then we waited. If this didn’t work, I was going to do the same thing with my Blue Flamethrower, which was ten times more powerful (XG does not have this power). Luckily, this was enough, and the room began to darken, though to a deep, crimson red. All three of them looked much happier than I thought they would, and they all turned toward me. That’s when Brute grabbed me and held me still, and Needles pricked me with a syringe and drugged me.

I wasn’t totally knocked out, just drowsy, but I was awake enough to scream and struggle. The three of them carried me into a room. “They’re fools,” I thought. “They have no idea that Satan is practically my adopted father.” Turns out, the ceremony didn’t summon Satan… it summoned an evil force that, not only came with an army, but granted power to the people in this cult, which included the leader, Prank Mike. I did not yet know that he was the leader. Luckily, I did have some kind of weapon. It wasn’t Graver (refer to this for an explanation, though I will make a post about this in a moment because, you know, DA ban), but instead, it was this thing I acquired a couple months ago. It’s a metal rod with thousands of thin blades, as thin as twine, and on my mental command, the blades can stretch and grab things. It’s really cool, I’ll call it the String Blade. So using that and my Blue Flamethrower, I managed to escape, though running while drugged was not easy. I remember thinking to myself, “I don’t know what it’s like to be drunk, but this must be it…”

As I ran, I noticed the house do that beautiful Silent Hill shift. I knew what was going to happen, I just didn’t know what things were going to come out of it. Welp, the things I remember was some sort of ghost girl that was mostly sentient black hair, a deformed male child who looked like a burn victim, and he touched me, which made my own skin burn, and it hurt (I can feel pain in my dreams, it sucks), there was actually a tiny Pyramid Head, which looking at it now was really cute, but the Silent Hill player in me knew that the Great Knife was a one-hit kill, and PH can’t actually be killed, there was some old, decayed doll, and even the ghost girl that I was usually friends with who looks like Sadako. She must’ve been overpowered by the evil force.

There honestly wasn’t much I could do except run and try to use my powers. My String Blade would cooperate because I couldn’t concentrate, and I basically tried all of my powers on multiple targets. They seemed immune to Blue Flamethrower, Ice Beam (non-XG) froze them for like a third of the amount of time it usually does, Pause wouldn’t work, but it hardly ever does, I couldn’t fly, and I couldn’t speed run. Some powers I didn’t even try because my mind was all warbley from the drugs, and I was feeling increasingly more sleepy. I remember being glad that Mike was at work, not yet knowing it was Prank Mike, because I was not in the right state to protect him.

Nails managed to catch up to me, and his appearance was now more demonic, his fingernails turned into three foot knives. He was fucking fast, and managed to land several cuts on me. I cannot even explain to you how painful this was. I blasted Blue Flamethrower in his face, temporarily slowing him down, and I used String Blade to grab his finger knives, and then his body, which was squeezed, intending to cut him into pieces. Before I could do much damage, Needles and Brute found me, now also with demonic forms. Needles was literally covered in thin, silver needles, all different lengths, and she could shoot them from her body as projectiles. Brute had like steel armor with thick, heavy blades under his forearms. They doubled as weapons and shields. This is when I found my next new power. The name is stupid, but it fucking worked. I was in horrible panic mode, so the desperate me shouted, “RAINBOW FLAMETHROWER!” and it actually burned them fantastically. I was able to run again. The drugs continued to keep me from flying, or even floating.

Then I met a new demon, Staples. I’m calling her Staples because she formed from a stack of papers stapled to a wall, but she was apparently not a random monster, but a demon like the other three. Her ability was also projectiles, but they were tiny sharp things fired from her fingers… probably staples. She started chasing me now, and I found a hidden trap door in the kitchen that led to a basement of sorts, though I came out of the top of an extremely cluttered closet. This is not the first dream involving cluttered closets. In this basement was basically just the bones of the house and a single brick colored metal door. I didn’t realize Staples was behind me, but when I opened the door, she pushed me out.

Strangely, it was sunny, and I fell onto a water slide. The entire thing looked like a cross between a water park and a prison, though it was all outdoors. The water slides and pools had high fences around them, and no one could get out of the water. The slide that took me had such a strong current that I couldn’t stop myself. For those of you who don’t know, I am scared of large bodies of water thanks to a near-drowning experience. There were prison towers in the middle of the pools, and there were tons of confused looking people who had come from different water slides. They were apparently under the impression that they were voluntarily entering a fun game show they were invited to. Yes, it ended up being a game, and those people were invited, but it wasn’t fun. I think the drugs were finally wearing off, so I became more alert. If you’re familiar with my dreams, you’ll know that dream me is often very badass, especially when being trained by people like Vegeta and the Thirteen Guard Squad from Bleach. What is my mind doing?

I still hadn’t regained any floating ability, and the water was freezing. The game was that we had to go through an obstacle course, survive, and then survive escaping, then we win. There was a half-way point where a guard asks you if you want to quit. Trick question. If you say no, you continue with the obstacle course. If you say yes… you’re put on a faster paced and much more hardcore obstacle course. Welp, I said yes. I still had String Blade, so that and my powers helped me. In the main course, there were blade filled tunnels, spikes that came from the floor of the pool, slides with choppy blades, large gaps that led to nowhere, strong currents that made you lose control, and traps made to slow you down. In this new course, there was all of that, but the weapons actually targeted you instead of attacking randomly, fences would pop in front of you, forcing you to double back and try a different route, heavy jets of water like a fire hose aimed at you, which were very painful, and more evil things chasing you.

I got hurt, and I was so angry at myself for being unable to fight. Finally, I lost it when met with another fence, and used String Blade to grip the top links of the fence and pulled myself over. Then I hopped along the tops of fences toward the exit. They were electric at the top, but I’ve been electrocuted so many times in my dream world, it gave me a power, Electricity (non-XG). So I fired back my own shocks to dampen the electrocution caused by the fences.

When I got to the end, the didn’t care that I cheated, and casually said, “on your way out, don’t tell people not to quit.” The exit was also the entrance, so I was climbing up a slide with a strong current working against me while excited newbies slid down passed me. But I climbed, more determined than ever to survive. I managed to make it and came to a long line in front of the “attraction.” As I passed everyone, I said, “don’t quit” and “turn back” to everyone I could. After I said this a few times, I was grabbed by an invisible force, and a voice in my head said, “you’re not allowed to tell them that, remember? Now you’re disqualified.” I fought it and broke free just as it was about to throw me back down the slide. I ran, and once I exited the “attraction,” I found myself in a normal entertainment center. I thought I was safe now, but I felt a needle stick in my shoulder. This one did knock me out.

I woke up back in that house, but it was normal again. It was apparently morning, and I was lying next to Mike. We all had spent the night there, as Brute, Nails, and Needles woke up as well. They all acted like normal people, and I decided I had had a nightmare. Let me note to you that all of my dreams are so realistic, it’s hard to figure out that I’m actually dreaming sometimes, despite the fact that I also can lucid dream. Even though everything was unfamiliar to my conscious self, I was under the impression that my crippled self who OFTEN HAS BLACKOUTS was my real self. They all asked me if I was okay, and I mumbled, “nightmare…”

Things started normally. Brute offered breakfast, and Mike and I followed him to the kitchen to help or something, I don’t remember. I also don’t remember what was said, but I know Mike was rubbing my back like he always does when I’m upset. Then we all heard Needles and Nails laughing, and I curiously left Mike and Brute to see what was going on. They were watching a video of me. Me doing the ceremony, me being drugged and captured, me running away and trying to use my powers… it had been real.

Brute came in and said, “don’t worry, it was just a joke! It was mike’s idea!” I looked at my body, and there were scars from the sounds I had suffered, but they looked like they had been there for years. When Mike came in, I asked, “why do you keep doing this to me? Why did you do that? You actually hurt me, you went too far!” Hey, reader, do you think that’s the end of this dream? So did I.

“No, the joke Brute mentioned was that you woke up as if it never happened,” he said in a sinister voice I have literally never heard come out of the real Michael’s mouth. All of a sudden, the room was dark red again, Needles, Nails, Brute, and Prank Mike were in demon forms, and Staples had returned. Jesus christ, Mike’s demon form clearly showed that he was the leader. He still had his regular hair and body type, but his skin was grey, eyes black, and blood dripping out of his mouth. He had some strange black cloak around him that flowed like gentle water, moving like it had a mind of its own. He was also holding a scythe with a huge blade, but whereas the bottom was a normal blade, the top was serrated, so there was no safe edge to it. The curl was also very unnatural.

I was snatched and held by the four goons, and Prank Mike was laughing as he took my left arm, stretched it out, and used a knife to cut a long, deep line from the inside of my elbow to my wrist. It hurt so bad, I was screaming bloody murder, crying, and pleading for him to stop. He did the same thing to my other arm. They dropped me, and Brute went to slash at me, but String Blade formed a sword out of its strings, and I was able to block it. I wasn’t going to do this again. I couldn’t believe that it wasn’t over, and I couldn’t believe that Mike was part of this.

I ran again, but I wasn’t drugged, so I remembered that my XG power, Shield, worked almost all of the time. So I summoned a shield around me, and just sat in midair, as my floating ability had returned to me. Needles and Nails were both trying to slash at me, but Shield is invisible, so they were slashing at a strong orb that they could not see. Prank Mike mentioned that that’s what it was, and they sort of pushed me around to observe the shield’s structure. I took this time to insult the goons, and then plead to Prank Mike, telling him that he didn’t mean this, and that we were in love, and that we were about to get married. He said, “I’ve been trying to get rid of you for years.” Real life Michael knows how to communicate, so dream me was confused as to why he bottled up so much hate toward me instead of sitting me down and talking. He told me that all of his pranks were attempts to get me to leave him, but since I hadn’t left, he had to teach me a lesson by torturing and killing me. This hurt emotionally, naturally, and I was sobbing. They were all laughing. Finally, I used a non-XG power I got a couple weeks ago called Repel. It makes an invisible, yet strong gust of wind force away from my body all around me to push away anyone near me to at least two yards away. Having my floating ability helped me to escape, but I still couldn’t fly. Shield was still protecting me as both Needles and Staples started firing their projectiles at me, and it gave me time to try and come up with a plan. I was convinced this was still a dream, so I screamed as hard as I could to get myself to wake up. It actually worked, and I gasped awake… and promptly fell back asleep, finding myself at the top of that water slide outside of the metal door.

The door did not have a handle on the outside, so I waited until someone came out before rushing up and putting my hand in between it and the door frame. Despite how much damage Prank Mike did to my arms, I stopped bleeding rather quickly, so I had forgotten all about it by this point. I was back in the basement, and there were two people, a woman with greasy red hair who looked like a heavy meth user, and a young teen boy who just sat on a box, not giving attention to my arrival. The women was hysterical, explaining how she’s been fleeing from demons attacking her, and I told her I had been doing the same thing. I said I knew an escape, and ran up to the closet, which was suddenly more cluttered than before. Not only that, but the floor tiles above seemed to be movable, as if they were suspended in midair. As I started clearing stuff out, I looked back at the woman to see her decaying, and she was becoming a structure of only veins. I used Repel and scrambled up the shelves of the closet, forcing the tile to the side so that I could get up. Once I was in the normal looking kitchen, the woman grabbed my foot, and I kicked her in the face, making her fall back down to the floor. I moved the tile back and set a wash bucket over it.

Then normal Mike asked me if I was okay. I was so confused, but he looked genuinely concerned. I wasn’t sure how to tell him what was happening. I also wasn’t sure if this was still part of the “prank.” He said it was time to go home because he had to get ready for work, so I followed him to the front door. He opened it, and Brute was outside, ready to drive us home. Suddenly, Mike was gone, but Brute acted like I had been alone the whole time. Instead of taking me to his car, he walked me down the street and started speaking to me in a hushed voice.

“Something is wrong with Mike,” he muttered quickly. I noticed him looking around as if afraid we were being followed. “He killed Needles and Nails, I know he did, he was covered in blood. That’s not my friend, that some kind of monster, I think he’s possessed.” He explained that he knew I had powers and urged me to figure out how to save Mike before he kills him too. As he said this, I noticed drawings of Needles and Nails following us on the buildings’ walls, and when going passed a window, it turned into their reflections, but they were not physically with us. There were drawings of other characters from Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon, and they were coming to life only to be killed by the demons. Brute didn’t seem to notice, but he was stopped by a scythe blade landing on his back, going through the torso, and sticking out of his chest. I heard Prank Mike laugh. Brute played dead for a moment, but then laughed as well and said, “just kidding.”

I woke up again with a gasp. I lifted my blindfold to see that I was in my apartment, heard Michael’s snoring, and went back to sleep.

I was in the kitchen again, right after I had covered the tile with the wash bucket. This time, all of the tiles were slowly trying to drift away, and I was desperately trying to get the to stay in place. The veiny woman was gone, but my old cat, Spaz, was walking around, and I tried to shoo him away so that he didn’t fall through the tiles.

Once again, Mike came to ask if I was okay, said we were going home, opened the door, disappeared, and the scene with Brute and I played exactly how it did before, except this time, my surroundings were flickering and glitching. When I asked Brute a question, he acted as though he couldn’t hear me. I walked around him to try and get his attention, but nothing. I did the same with other people, but they didn’t notice me. The drawings on the walls didn’t even seem to know I was there, and instead of killing the characters, Needles and Nails were just threatening them. I managed to pull someone off the wall, but I don’t remember who it was, though I think it was Deedee from Dexter’s Lab.

Then the sidewalk ended into nothing but dark space, and I observed my surroundings. All of the walls and segments of sidewalk were slowly drifting apart like the tiles had, and when stepping on surfaces, they sunk a little with my weight, and popped back up when I had stepped off of it. Brute was frozen in place, mouthing silently, staring straight ahead.

My dream self was back in the kitchen with the floating tiles, but now all the walls were separating as well. Nothing was glitching this time. The scene started to play out like it had the last two times, but this time, Mike had black eyes and thick stitches going through his arms. I could see this because he was wearing a black tank top, something he’d never wear. He asked if I was okay, and told me it was time to go home. This time, after he opened the door, I kept my eye on him and saw him turn to the side to walk up a flight of steps. I followed him, and he was sitting in a chair, looking at me as if he expected me to follow him. The room was small, blank, and had cardboard boxes as if someone was just moving in.

“Just kidding,” he said with a smile, and then I woke up (not for real) back in the normal living room with Mike, Brute, Needles, and Nails just like after the first round of nightmare. It all played out the same, but this time, I didn’t go to the kitchen with Brute and Mike. I was fully on guard, and Needles asked me if I wanted to watch funny YouTube videos. I knew they were going to show videos of me going through this “prank,” so I used String Blade to slice through the monitor and grab Needles, trying to squeeze her into slices.

Immediately, everything turned dark again, and Prank Mike in his demon form rescued Needles. He made a snarky comment toward me about catching on to how things worked. I was crying, but not sobbing, and asked why he’s doing this to me. I didn’t get a straight answer, just a slash in my direction. I had had it by this point. I was traumatized, and my mind had been broken enough to enter survival mode. This is when another non-XG power came up. It was a dark violet smoke that I could control verbally along with hand gestures. I don’t think I named it, but ordered it to do stuff by calling it “solid smoke.” It was like it had its own mind, but it was extremely obedient. However, it was like training a new Pokémon, so it wasn’t too strong yet.

It appeared on its own, grabbing hold of the scythe and throwing it to the side. This didn’t deter Prank Mike, and his freaking cloak fought back. The difference here was that the cloak could not grab the smoke, but the smoke could grab it. I said, “solid smoke, grab it!” It obeyed, but was losing hold. I tightened my fist as if I were latched onto the fabric, and the smoke gripped it more strongly. “Solid smoke, pull the cloak!” A weak attempt to pull the cloak with one hand ended with the fabric freeing itself. While the cloak had been fighting, Prank Mike got his scythe back. I really didn’t want to hurt the man I still loved, so my plan was to capture him and undo whatever curse was afflicting him.

The cloak struck again, and I said, “solid smoke, grab it and pull!” This attempt was also weak, and I saw the cloak slipping. “PULL IT! KEEP PULLING IT LIKE THIS!” I made a motion with my hands to indicate pulling a rope, and the smoke made a second “hand” and did as I demonstrated. We quickly managed to get Prank Mike closer, the smoke blocked his attempt to slash at me, and I used Ice Beam to freeze him. Some of my powers ended up being Pokémon powers… I even used Dazzling Gleam and Leaf Blade once…

Again, Ice Beam didn’t work to its fullest potential, so when he unfroze, I used Rainbow Flamethrower, but he was stronger than his goons, so he didn’t get too much damage. He caught me again, had his goons restrain me, and carried me outside down the floating sidewalk. I was thinking hard and fast. Who could I call to come save me? Who would hear me? I realized no one would hear me, but I tried anyway. I screamed for Vegeta, and luckily, he was in the area. My heart broke when he didn’t even recognize me. He LOVES me, he ALWAYS makes time for me, but this time, he didn’t even know who I was. I doubted anyone else would have any memory of me either, so trying to call Rukia or someone was out of the question. I gave up.

I was brought to a different house in the middle of nowhere. It was decrepit, dark, and small. This part of the world was not drifting apart. We were in a vast valley with green grass, and little houses scattered about. At the very end was an absurdly large office building, and there was a fired burning within it, the flames licking the outside walls through broke windows, but not engulfing the building, as if it were stuck on this one state. Across from it was a cliff and  a tree house on a huge tree that grew so tall, yet so far down, it passed a dusty layer of fog and disappeared, no ground in sight. These are all observations I made later, not while I was being carried into this rickety house.

Note: An old friend of mine named Ariel always shows up in my dreams. I dumped her as a friend for multiple reasons, and when she comes into my dreams, all of her bad qualities are pumped up to one hundred. Just a few things she’s done: tried to kill me, tried to convince people that I’m lying about things, especially when I tell people what she’s like, and even when I have our old friends to back me up. She would attack me just to hurt me, even went as far as hurting my animals, has stalked me, molested me in my sleep, claims to be in love with me, and she doesn’t get in trouble for going against her in-dream restraining order. She break into my house, enters parties I throw when she’s not allowed to be in the building, presses her face against windows to peer at me, cannot stop verbally harassing me, she’s tried to destroy Encephalon, forced herself into movies I make, manages to break locks that are UNBREAKABLE, guess door codes, and has even tried to become friends again just to betray me again and laugh at my heart breaking. She claims she’s in love with me, but she does all of this crazy stuff. I tell her to leave me alone, I try to beat the shit out of her, and I’ve killed her so many times, but she just keeps coming back. Her mother saw me kill her once, and she was screaming at me, but I told her, “give it six hours, she’ll be back.” I HATE her. Sometimes she agrees to leave me alone and ignore me like I suggested, but she never does, as if she can’t handle holding the urge back. I’ve yelled at her many times, saying, “how hard is it to ignore me?! All I’m asking is for you to LEAVE ME ALONE! I want to leave you alone! I want us to ignore each other’s existence, not speak to each other, not touch each other, NOTHING! Why is that so HARD?!” Worst of all, even when people of authority have proof she’s done something horribly wrong and admit that she needs to be punished, she never is. Still, every so often, she treats me like a friend…

Ariel was with some friends in this house, including an old scene friend named Kitty, who is like Ariel’s main henchman. She looks as fat and emo as ever, and she hangs out with a bunch of emo kids, and I’m like, “ugh…” As I was carried into this house, I was struggling, not ready to give up all the way just yet. I noticed Ariel in a room, and as my last ditch effort, I screamed for her help. I don’t think she believed me, so I begged, “please, Ariel, PLEASE! I’m in danger, please help me!” She stood at the top of the stairs I was being carried down, and looked concerned, like she wanted to help. However, she chickened out and went back to her friends. I later saw her walking around as a sort of bat creature, and she and her friends were making fun of me again.

I was underground now, and the room was huge. Somehow, the walls made of wooden planks were broken, and there was sunlight and foliage coming in. It looked like the foliage had been able to grow for at least a decade. I saw Spaz again, just randomly. I’m not sure if I was tied up or anything, I think I was just dropped into this room, and the demons went up to a sort of balcony above me, like spectators.

Prank Mike did come down briefly, though he was in the same form I had scene the last time he had said, “just kidding.” He was holding some rats, but no one I recognized. He threatened to squeeze them, to break them and kill them. I had been brave and brutal before when I was fighting him, but I was reduced to my sobbing, submissive, frightened self I had been at the start. I begged him not to hurt any of the animals, and he actually tightened his grip on one, only enough to make it struggle. I begged again, on my knees, sobbing hysterically. He walked away from me and placed the rats into one of three boxes, all identical.

“In one of these boxes is a harmless snake. In one of these boxes is nothing. In one of these boxes, there is a dangerous, venomous snake and those rats. Save all of the rats, and I will let them go unharmed.” Snakes. I love snakes, but not when it comes to protecting the snake’s natural prey. I found a fully grown boa constrictor in the first box, who slid out. I saw Spaz in the line of fire, so I picked him up and put him in a shopping cart. Don’t ask where it came from, I don’t know. I was about to try the third box, but Staples discreetly shot once at the second box. I glanced at her, and she gave me a nod. I wasn’t sure whether or not to trust her, but her expression was serious. So, I opened the second box and found the rats and many objects that would make it very difficult to find and grab them or the snake. I hadn’t heard a squeak, so no one had been eaten yet.

Prank Mike was laughing about how I’d never save them in time because of all the objects in the box, but I noticed what looked like an orange hose, grabbed it, and pulled. I instantly gripped its neck so that it couldn’t bite, though it was certainly trying, hissing and spitting at me. I heard Brute ask someone, “how did she find the snake so fast?” I closed the snake into one of the other boxes and managed to find all of the rats, all completely unharmed. I let them go out of a hole in the wall. In real life, you can’t do this with domestic rats, but I have this power over ALL RATS in my dreams that makes them know exactly what to do and where to go. It’s awesome.

The gang were all very furious. Prank Mike seemed to not have expected me to know how to grab a snake despite the fact that he knows how knowledgeable I am about animals. The boa also escaped outside, and Spaz continued to sit in the cart for some reason. Prank Mike came to me once again, but he took the rough form of Erin. I suddenly felt small, like a child, and as he set his hand on my head, I started crying. I saw flashbacks of the abuse Erin put me through, but Prank Mike was changing them to make it look like it was all my fault. He showed me as the abuser, as a misbehaved kid, as someone who deserved to be hit. The scenes stopped when he took his hand off of my head, and I hugged his leg, crying harder. I said, “I’m sorry, mommy…” In his own voice, Prank Mike said, “you’re going to be good from now on, aren’t you? You’re going to do everything I say with no argument?” I kept saying, “yes, I’ll behave, mommy, I’ll be good, I’ll do everything you ask, I’m so sorry, mommy…” This was the moment when he had finally broken me down to my core.

Satisfied, he left, and his goons followed, all except Staples. She took a more human-like form and walked up to me. She said she’s realized that I don’t deserve this, that Prank Mike lied to her about me and painted me out to be some cruel, controlling, ball and chain of a fiancé. I couldn’t feel anymore. I had stopped crying, I didn’t feel the rage, I didn’t feel the hurt. My voice was calm when I said, “we have to stop him.” Staples told me she knows how to transfer the leader’s power, and that it couldn’t actually be defeated. If Staples stole the power, she could control it properly, and she’d keep me safe.

We left together, going back to the house, which was semi-normal. I saw normal Mike and my Aunt Patty… Note: I have been having nightmares where my Aunt Patty is absolutely cruel, heartless, and downright evil, even though she’s actually pretty okay. Anyway, she was sitting on a roof beam, having been speaking to Mike and laughing with him, a camcorder in her hand. I still don’t realize that this is a dream, and I think I’m awake. I inquire about what’s going on, and it seemed she was in on the “prank” too. Staples, Needles, Nails, and Brute had taken full human forms, laughing as if the prank was simply tricking me to wear my shirt inside out. I was exhausted, but some emotions returned.

“I’ve been having nightmares about you, but you’re really like this?!” I shouted. She just laughed and told me to get a sense of humor. My wounds had not turned into aged scars, they were gooey scabs accompanied by bruises. I turned to Mike and once again asked, “why would you do this to me?!” I told him to look at me, look at my wounded body, and I told him I loved him, and that I thought he loved me too, otherwise, why would he propose? I sigh as I type this, remembering that it still wasn’t over.

Patty stood far back to film, and Prank Mike and the goons became demons again. However, the goons were starting to form opinions close to Staples’. Brute mentioned that they were going too far, and that it was time to stop. Needles actually said, “don’t you think she’s had enough?” It seemed he was completely out of control, dismissing the others and continuing the torture. Now all four goons were on my side, and Staples began to explain that I needed to minimize him to force the power out and into another host. I didn’t know what she meant by “minimize,” but she told me to rip his cloak off as much as possible. So I put the few emotions I had left aside, got ready with String Blade in one hand and solid smoke in the other, and Prank Mike and I both shot at each other.

I used String Blade as a sword to block the scythe, and told solid smoke to start ripping the cloak. It tried to defend itself, but when solid smoke ripped off a chunk and threw it to the floor, it was just black, unmoving goop. I found it strange that it wasn’t fabric. I urged the smoke to keep going, saying it would have to work alone for a bit, but it seemed to feel my passion and determination, and was thinking on its own perfectly. I tried many times to slice through Prank Mike, but I only hit him a few times, whereas he hit me continuously. I tried Rainbow Flamethrower, Repel, Ice Beam, Pause, Ice Cascade, and Redo, but nothing worked. He was immune to the Flamethrower, Repel made him barely budge, Ice Beam didn’t freeze him at all, and the other three didn’t do anything at all. However, I was flying by this point, so at least I had that.

Pretty much all of the work was done by solid smoke. As more of the cloak was ripped away, Prank Mike literally began to shrink. Eventually, I was able to hold him still as the last of the cloak was removed, and he became a small statue of a demon holding a tiny scythe. I stared at it, heart broken having just lost the love of my life. I held him close to my face and whispered, “it didn’t have to be this way. All you had to do was talk to me about it. I can’t know if something’s wrong if you don’t tell me. Now you’re nothing but a rock. I hope it was worth it.” Then I set him on a mantle. When I turned to the others, I saw Staples picking up the globs of cloak and sticking them to her body. We all just watched, and she took on a form that was very similar in appearance to Prank Mike’s demon form. She even had the scythe. She sighed and sat in a chair once she had gained all of the power.

“It’s over,” she said to me. “What will you do now?” I asked if I could serve her, telling her that there was no way I could return to a normal life. My emotions had disappeared again, and I verbally accepted that Mike was no longer here. Staples agreed, but said I couldn’t be her right hand man (like Brute had been to Prank Mike, I forgot to mention that) because I wasn’t strong enough. She decided that Brute will keep his place, but I would take Needles’ rank. Needles and Nails would share a rank, and Patty would take her place. Patty did not anticipate being involved, thinking that she was just there for the prank, but Staples turned her into a small stack of papers, and I went to staple them to the same wall Staples had been on. When I returned, she promised to train me, as well as protect me.

I asked her why this power couldn’t be defeated, and she explained that the lives lost at the waterpark fueled its existence, and if the holder of the power doesn’t get those souls, they will die with the power. So I had to agree to let these people die because I didn’t want Staples to kill me for opposing her. I did say that the prison needed to be taken out, but she said that it’s the only source she has. Not only that, but losing the power means turning into a small, stone ornament just like Prank Mike, so she could never return to her former life. She also mentioned that the statue remains sentient, it can hear and see everything, it just can’t move. That meant that the person within was forced to watch the world around them for all eternity. I found that I didn’t care, and I swore my loyalty to the new leader. It turned out that Staples made Patty take her place as punishment for being involved with the whole ordeal even though I was family. The papers couldn’t take a body unless the leader allows it.

I mentally prepared myself for a life of no emotions, constant fighting for survival, and no relationships. They were going to give me enough demonic power to be like them once I was trained up. Normally I’d think that was pretty cool, but now I didn’t care either way. Prank Mike had broken me down, stomped me down until I was the finest of dust. I could never go back.

Sometimes I’d talk to the statue, sort of to punish him further. One day, however, I accidently cut my palm on the scythe, which I didn’t know had stayed metal. The blood formed a new cloak, and he returned to his prior state. This time, it was my sanity that broke. It wasn’t over. I’d have to go through that all again! Now I didn’t care, I truly didn’t care, and I truly believed that this wasn’t a prank, these weren’t actors, this was fucking real.

I started killing everyone and destroying everything. Prank Mike ran away and hid himself in a room, and everyone else were looking human again, but I went after them anyway, even though the house had returned to normal too. Brute was frantically banging on the door to the room where Prank Mike was, saying, “okay, man! Time to call it! We’ve gone too far! YOU NEED TO CALL IT!!” Right as I heard Prank Mike say, “it’s over!” I used String Blade to absolutely destroy Needles and Nails. Mike opened the door and said, “it’s done! It’s over, okay? I’m done! It’s not real! I promise, I’m not joking this time!” I had already done quite a bit of damage, but I returned to the emotionless me. He allowed me to step into the room, and we just sat in silence for awhile.

“When did you stop loving me?” I finally asked. He said a long time ago. “Why did you do this to me?” He said it was because he felt that I didn’t respect him. “Why didn’t you just talk to me about it?” He said he just hated being around me. “Okay.”

He then took me outside to the valley to show me all of the things they were going to use if they had kept going. I heard a song in the background like you’d hear in a movie during a sad scene. In the same repeated tune, a man sang,

You weren’t like this yesterday,

I thought that everything was okay…

(ahh ahh)

I thought you loved me up until today.

 

I never thought you’d act this way,

What has change since yesterday?

(ahh ahh)

Now it’s like you want me to go away.

 

Life was better when we would play,

But you showed that you hate me today…

(ahh ahh)

That’s fine, I never loved you anyway.

 

You weren’t like this yesterday,

Or so I thought, and that’s okay.

(ahh ahh)

That’s just fine, I’ve always hated you anyway…

 

This is when I saw the strange burning building and the impossible tree house. He took me into the tree house and said that it sort of worked like an elevator, and more things were waiting for me far, far below us. I laughed. I just laughed. I continued to laugh as I stepped out of the tree house and decimated the burning building using String Blade and solid smoke. Mike followed me, saying in a joking way, “hey, you don’t have to do that, it’s over, remember?” I just laughed as the song continued to play, repeating the lyrics. I walked along, using String Blade to cut through everyone I saw, even innocent people. Some only got their feet or arms cut off, and some were destroyed completely. There were screams, and Mike was still trying to get me to stop, but my sanity was lost, and I ignored him. I heard some people call the police, but I didn’t care. I saw Ariel the bat creature and stabbed her a few times before ripping off her head. The bat head had been above her real head in the costume, and she laughed in relief, but then I started cutting off her real head, and she sobbed, begged for her life, and told me she was sorry.

I didn’t attack Mike again. He actually helped me run so that I wouldn’t get arrested. I just kept laughing and smiling, listening to the sad song in my head. He asked me if I wanted to stay with him. I said yes. “Even knowing I don’t love you?” I said yes. “Why?” I told him because I once loved him and would do anything for him. It was only right that I became his follower. I was different now anyway, so I wouldn’t be so annoying I guess. To be fair, I do respect the hell out of my fiancé.

Then I woke up for the last time. I turned over and hugged a sleeping Michael for a bit, but I couldn’t get the song out of my head, so I went onto my computer and wrote it down. Then I started writing my previous blog post. When he woke up, I told him a less detailed summary of my nightmare, and I cried. Neither of us understand why my brain hates him so much. And I had had fun with his friends at IHOP. I always enjoy Michael’s company, always have fun with him, and he never acts like any of the bad versions of dream Mike. I hate it, I hate the nightmares, I hate that I am only allowed to have a couple good dreams every month. It all comes down to Erin. It’s her fault I have PTSD in the first place. It’s her fault I hate myself.

But I’ll get over it… eventually. Or maybe I won’t, just like that dream with Randy. One thing is for certain… I’m going to have to have a talk with Vegeta next time I see him…

 

(Entry not proofread.)

I had a dream night before last, and it was actually a really cool dream that tried to be a nightmare a couple times, but it just kept being good. I don’t have good dreams often, so this was delightful.

Mike and I have recently moved to Smilesville, whereas we’d usually just visit Encephalon through odd portals throughout the world (I’ll mention those in another post). We have our house, and now we’re trying to find jobs. My conscious mind knows that there are things in Smilesville that I haven’t exactly fully formed yet, so it always seems unfinished. I also don’t want to work in food. So I take a day to walk around and find work. I come across this Chinese restaurant called something like, “MEAN BOY” or something, and the sign is black, the letters are red and in a sort of font you’d expect from a heavy metal band. I went inside out of curiosity, and it’s a heavy metal themed Chinese restaurant. From the look of it, it’s really popular. It has two floors, and the waitress told me there’s a very long wait. I told her I was just looking around. I made a mental note to make a reservation there with Michael at some point.

As a little side note, remember how I said the dream was trying to be a nightmare? Well, there were Middle Eastern terrorists in Smilesville for some reason… They looked so abnormal compared to the colorful citizens and backgrounds, and the fact that they had weapons made everyone start pulling out their phones to call the police. They tried to get into certain areas of Smilesville by saying that “Emperor Something-Or-Another” has ordered us to let him in. None of us were afraid, even me, because we have strict laws in Smilesville. I said, “Nice try, morons! There is no ‘Emperor Something-Or-Another’ in Encephalon! Either go back to Earth, or get your asses into Wayward City, because we’re calling the police, and things don’t work the same here as they do on Earth!” They were all confused as we all managed to get them to turn around and head into Wayward City. Now it was the City’s problem, and it was unlikely that they’d live long enough to see Earth again. Moving on…

I came across an arcade after that, and it looked really fun, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to work there. I kept it at the back of my mind in case I didn’t find anything else. I knew that Smilesville’s economy is WAY better than the US, so I actually had many options to pursue. Even though we get YouTube in Smilesville, I didn’t think I was going to make nearly enough money to be happy because… well, it’s Earth…

While exploring, I found myself in front of a huge arena with the Jeopardy logo on it. I was like, “…. Jeopardy??” So I walked in and discovered that Smilesville Jeopardy was EXTREMELY popular and EXTREMELY different than Earth’s. The arena itself looked set up like a music concert. It was dark with vibrant purple and magenta lights. Kind of looked like this:

1ml

There were hundreds of thousands of seats with cheering fans, and hundreds of screens for people to see what’s going on on stage. There was music, a full snack station, and each player had a flashy introduction video, it was so crazy. Not only that, but the players were attached to pulleys that would lift them into the air and bring them to the stage from the area they sit while being introduced.

Even though I have Social Anxiety, it’s always easier to be social in Smilesville because, if I embarrass myself, it’s just considered being wacky, and everyone loves it. I noticed some important looking guys talking about how one contestant couldn’t make it because she got sick, and were worrying about filling in for her. I asked if maybe I could play. Since I, Kara Reynolds, am the one who invented Encephalon, my character, Reitanna Seishin, is a face that many people recognize. I’m what is referred to as “the bloodline,” so Reitanna is considered to be a direct descendant of the bloodline. She didn’t know this until she arrived on Encephalon much earlier in her life than in my dream world, apparently. ANYWAY, they recognized me and plopped me right into the third contestant seat. I think Earth Jeopardy has four players, but Smilesville has three. There was an Asian man in his mid twenties, and a black girl with really cute, thick-framed, round glasses in her young twenties. Her hair was in braids like this:

image

Same length and style, but the color was that dark brown that’s the darkest brown you can have before black, and she had some plastic, children’s clips in it. She wore denim overalls with a yellow t-shirt and red converse. I remember her way more than the Asian man because she and I became quick friends, but I can’t remember her name. I do remember the Asian man having black hair and wearing a black leather jacket. Apparently the black girl (let’s call her…. Simone) was well known on the internet. Let’s call Asian guy…. Chei.

There were some music performances on stage before the main show while the contestants got ready. The other two had been on before, so I was the nervous one. There was this girl with long, straight blonde hair who had back stage passes or something, and she looked like she was from Clearwater Park. It didn’t seem like she was too fond of Simone because she was extremely peppy and insistent that everyone she met was now her friend, which is typical Smilesville behavior. I’ll call the blonde girl Meghan. Simone, Chei, and Meghan all recognized me, and Meghan told me she had also come from Earth, but as a teenager, so she’s been on Encephalon longer than me. She confided in me that she didn’t like coming to Smilesville because it doesn’t have the same air as Clearwater Park, which eliminates all negative feelings. She found out the hard way that Smilesvillians often get on her nerves, and she said that Simone was way too much for her. I said, “I like her. I can’t find people like her on Earth. Don’t you remember how horribly everyone is there?” This made her go silent, and from then on, she was much warmer to Simone, seeming not to get annoyed so easily.

Then it was time. The Smilesville national anthem played, and then the much different Smilesville Jeopardy theme played. The host was a very loud, excited, and flamboyant man wearing a yellow suit like Freddy Mercury’s:

Screen Shot 2019-04-22 at 6.26.12 PM

Except the pants matched, and the whole thing was glittery. He announced the start of the show, and our vignettes started to play. First was Chei’s, and it was in his native language with subtitles. There was a cool anime clip of him looking really hot (you know, typical anime stuff), and there was a wind swirling with cherry blossoms that flew into a transition that took his character off the screen and revealed his name. Then the camera showed his face live so he could greet the audience. Note that everyone is screaming and cheering during this whole thing like at a concert.

Then it was Simone’s turn. I don’t remember her internet name, but it was something kawaii, and it seemed her internet persona was also very kawaii. It showed some animated clips of her, possibly based on actual clips from her internet videos, and when her live face showed up, she said something in Japanese in a sickly kawaii voice that just made you think of some little anime Lolita girl covered in pastel bows and frills. She even gave little peace signs.

When it came to me, the tech team managed to put together a short vignette made from some of my art and my song “Lovely.” I was shocked that I received just as many cheers as the other two had. But then I was scared out of my mind. The camera was going to show my face… what do I do? What if I’m awkward?! Earth’s conditioning was making me forget that I could do literally anything and be okay. When the camera showed my live face, I did something that embarrassed me. I think I smiled like an idiot, waved both my hands, and said, “yatta!” Typical behavior of mine on video, not so much in person in front of a hundred thousand strangers. BUT THEY LOVED IT. My heart was beating like mad, but I felt so relieved.

We were lifted and put at our podiums. Then the power went out. It took a few minutes for it to get put back on, but we tried to resume anyway. The categories were put up, and I wish I could remember what they were, because they were SO Smilesville. The second time the power went off, I shouted, “I CAN HELP!” and used my Xtraordinary Girl powers to send volts of electricity through the wires, and the power came on much quicker. Simone was like, “HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!” And I said, “Well… I’m also Xtraordinary Girl!” Now, this only applies to my dream self. Xtraordinary Girl is a concept I created based on the fact that I have many powers in my dreams that work only sometimes. Please refer to this for more information.

So we started answering questions. The only one I remember being answered was Chei saying, “who is Aku-Aku?” I could’ve gotten that one, but he was a quick buzzer. The third time the power went out, it was different. Here’s the second time my dream tried to be a nightmare. The power didn’t seem to be all the way out, but the screens were frozen and glitchy, but the scariest part was that every single person was staring at me, but their faces were glitchy and staticky. They were all frozen, and I heard a low droning sound somewhere in the silence. I wasn’t sure what to do or say, especially since my new friend, Simone, was right next to me with the same glitched up face. I ended up saying, “…. Monika?” More silence. “… Just Monika??” More silence. I shot some electricity through the wires again, and everything went back to normal. I decided to just pretend nothing happened because I didn’t want to let my projections know that I noticed them trying to turn my awesome dream into a nightmare.

There was a break where Meghan brought us three contestant some cake, but then things started getting cloudy, and I said, “no! I’m waking up! I can’t play anymore!” My new friends waved goodbye enthusiastically and said, “we’ll be here when you come back! Next time you’ll win some money!!”

I think I’m going to at least make Meghan and Simone actual characters because they were so nice. I might keep Chei as an honorable mention or something. But yeah, it was a wonderful dream! I told mike about it, and he said last night, “hey, maybe we can keep a streak!” I said, probably not. I was right. My next blog will be about the punishment nightmare my mind conjured up to make up for having such a good dream.

(Entry not proofread.)

Reoccurring Projections

It’s been awhile since I’ve written here. A quick update: Working on losing fifty pounds by the end of the year, still trying to work on the next Muffins narration but Audacity keeps crashing on me, making it annoyingly difficult, I’m working harder than ever not to pick my skin or pull my hair, finally got a bike, we just need to build it, Jerry is still alive but has developed hind leg degeneration, and DA is still being a little bitch. Alright, moving on to the main topic: dreams.

I am fully convinced that my dream world is actually another world I go to, and I think it’s the same for all people, but I can’t prove any of this. The “storylines” have become so much more complex, they interlock with each other, time passes, people grow, and it’s… weird. I want to split this topic up into multiple posts to reflect on this overwhelmingly realistic world that has never shown its face until around the last year I was in California. My dreams never used to be so elaborate and interconnecting. In this post, I will be talking about projections that make a regular appearance. Some of them don’t have names. We’ll start with the most traumatizing projection I have met so far…

Randy

I’ve written about Randy before in this post. Long story short, I fell in love with him even though he was a bad guy, I managed to turn him around, I adopted a “child” of sorts, he killed her, raped me, then shot me in the spine to cripple me. I have been crippled in every dream ever since, and even more so after an in-dream car accident. The dream where the tragedy happened, I woke up crying, unable to distinguish myself in the conscious world and my dream world. Randy really messed me up. After that, he was imprisoned and sentenced to death, but I had a few dreams later where I saw him in different ways, as if in different universes where certain things didn’t happen to cause the tragedy. I don’t remember the last time I saw him; I assume I stopped visiting him after that last time, and he’s been executed. I’ve never seen his family since either.

Jimmy

I’ve never mentioned Jimmy or any of the dreams he’s appeared in, mostly because, when he shows up, it ends up being a good part of the dream. He has blonde, short hair, isn’t too much taller than me, and is really carefree. I met him after the Randy incident, and I was so heart broken and traumatized, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get close to anyone ever again. It’s interesting to note that Michael, my real life fiancé, wasn’t really involved in the Randy saga, but we are together after. Michael himself has a much different personality, but I’m not talking about projections based on real people. Jimmy didn’t really care that I was crippled (I can’t walk, and my hands are hard to control, so I have to use machines that are trying to reteach my body to move again), and he thought I was pretty… apparently dream me is gorgeous. I can’t speak very well either, but he seemed to care about me enough to get to know me.

I ended up learning that monogamy wasn’t his cup of tea, and I was really jealous. However, I fell for him so hard, I hid my jealousy and tried not to control him. He seemed to pay more attention to me than his other girls, always asking them to leave when we run into each other. He’s taken me to concerts and parties, we introduce music to a moving city that forbid it, and of course, we had sex all the time. It was hard to hide this from Michael, who narrowed his eyes every time I hugged Jimmy around him, and I would always say, “he’s just a really good friend.”

Eventually, Jimmy confessed that he loved me, but he wasn’t sure if he could quit his womanizing lifestyle. I was also feeling guilty about deceiving Michael, as my conscious mind kept reminding dream me that I was with him and loved him more than anyone. I told Jimmy I just couldn’t leave Michael, and he understood. He ended up telling Michael that he had fallen in love with me, but not about us being involved, and told him that he could no longer be around me as to not jeopardize the relationship.

After that, I’d see him around occasionally, and I still feel my heart jump, I still run up to hug him, I get excited when someone tells me, “Jimmy is in town,” and sometimes he lets me kiss him. I think we might’ve had sex again once, but otherwise, nothing happens between us.

Bulldog

Ah yes… Bulldog. I just looked at my posts about dream and realized I’ve never mentioned him either. He’s a big guy with dark brunette hair, and he looks like a cross between Rob Gavagan (formerly known and Rob Dyke), and my old friend Sebastian, who resembles Jack Black. I don’t know when I met him, and I don’t consciously know his real name, but when I told him about Randy, he decided to become my body guard, especially since I’ve been drugged at parties multiple times and… well, I guess dream me is just that hot, huh? I managed to get my revenge on some of them, but I digress.

Bulldog has become friends with Michael, knows Jimmy and is friendly with him, and has a few friends that don’t like me, and I don’t like them. Whenever I’m in danger… well, almost… I yell for him and he uses his brute strength to save me. I’m always getting attacked and kidnapped.

I started to notice Bulldog become very attached to me, and that he made certain comments that made me suspicious that he liked me. I pretended not to notice. But why? Why do so many bad things happen to me in my dream world? Why is everyone inclined to do bad things?

I guess I was on a ship with a bunch of friends, including Bulldog and Michael, and it crashed. I’ve had so many dreams where I’m in a shipwreck, probably because I’m afraid of large bodies of water… Anyway, I guess I was partially knocked out. I felt someone on me, and I wasn’t fully aware that I had just been in an accident, so I welcomed the advances from who I thought was Michael. Because of this, I didn’t argue when I felt him start to have sex with me. In real life, Michael has woken me up in the morning with sex before, so dream me accepted that this was what was happening. Nope.

I fully awoke after he had left, and I was surprised to be washed up on an island, laying in a small area of water. I remember distinctly that there was a starfish on a rock beside me. I asked one of the girls what happened. She looked pale, and mentioned that our ship wrecked. I said, “then why on earth did Michael fuck me at a time like this?” And then she told me that it wasn’t Michael. It was Bulldog. He got off of me when they caught him and started screaming at him. I was horrified, hurt, and confused. I went and told Michael what had happened, and he got mad. We both confronted Bulldog, who was sobbing as we approached. He ended up finally telling us that he had fallen in love with me (why does this keep happening to me?) and that he couldn’t help it. He begged for our forgiveness, and I forgave him because he had done so much good for me in the past. If this had happened in real life, there’s no way I would have forgiven him. Michael stayed silent, but it was pretty clear that his opinion of Bulldog had changed.

After that, Bulldog has been a little distant with me, and I do my best to pretend like nothing happened. He still comes to my aid, but tries his best not to be alone with me. I’ve caught him asking Michael if they could share me. T_T Still, he remains my friend and body guard.

These stupid goddamn girls I don’t know the names of

There’s two of them, one with brown hair, and one with blonde. It’s confusing, because when Blondie isn’t with Brownie, she acts like she secretly wants to be my friend, but when they are together, they’re just plain nasty. Brownie is always nasty. They make fun of me for EVERYTHING: being crippled, acting happy, acting sad, wearing certain things, having been abused by Erin (because they think it’s a lie), loving my rats (in my dreams, I’ve trained about a hundred rats), being smart, and eventually, developing powers. I remember Brownie saying, “you can fly now? Oh my god.” The weird thing is… I’ve always been able to float or fly. But I keep developing new powers, which inspired me to create Xtraordinary Girl, and I actually am known as that in my dream world.

I have tried to kill these girls multiple times, but they are somehow impervious to my powers, and every time I drop them in the middle of the ocean, they come back somehow. Every time I get violent with them, they tell a teacher (because I’m apparently a twenty-nine year old teenager?), and I get in trouble. I constantly yell about the things they do to me, but no one ever listens, not even when a few students back me up. They haven’t just been verbally abusive, but physically too, trying to stab me, set me on fire, and joining the Anti-Reitannites or the Kill Squad. Bulldog can’t seem to get rid of them.

Anti-Reitannites

There’s a group of people who hate me and have turned many of my fans against me by spreading lies about me. Oh yeah, that’s real. However, in my dream world, THESE PEOPLE HAVE FOUND ME. They constantly try to beat me up, the ex-fans tell me things like, “I don’t know what I ever saw in you,” and I’m constantly called a liar, even though they know that I choose to always tell the truth; they think that’s a lie too. And the things they make up about me get bigger and more ridiculous, and I’m always trying my best to prove myself to everyone, mainly to prove myself to the ex-fans, but I keep getting upset like any human would, and if I show even the tiniest amount of frustration, it “proves” to everyone that I’m a horrible person. It’s been driving my dream self to madness (as if she wasn’t already super messed up already), and I keep doing things that just hurt my chances of ever changing their minds… like calling Annatier.

Kill Squad

Another large group of people, and some of the Anti-Reitannites are part of it. They don’t call themselves this, it’s just a name I’m calling them for lack of a better. There’s a short, skinny girl in her twenties that can’t seem to decide if I’m good or bad. Her opinion of me changes based on my actions, which she’s SUPER sensitive about. If I do something even a tiny bit wrong, she panics and joins this group of people who are trying to actually murder me. They’ve succeeded multiple times, but it’s getting easier to survive with my powers. They have weapons of all kinds, and I feel them when they hit me. It hurts, especially the blades. What’s worse is they try to kill anyone who defends me. They do all this even if I save their asses from attacks by something even worse, or nuclear explosions.

This unnamed fifteen year old

He’s not well behaved, not good at school, and is a bully. It used to be that, every time I passed a certain area where he skateboards or plays basketball, he’d jump me. After awhile, though, He started flirting with me, and (oh no, here we go again), eventually admitted that he actually loved me. I look like a teenager, but my conscious mind knows I’m not. So dream me kisses him every now and then, and I tell myself, “as long as Michael doesn’t know, it’s perfectly fine to kiss other guys,” when in reality, I know that it’s not, and I’d never even consider it. After time went on, my conscious mind finally interfered, and I realized I was almost double his age and madly in love with Michael, so I ended up revealing all of this, which he hadn’t known, and broke his heart. He was horrified to find out how old I was because I look sixteen in my dream world. He hasn’t been the same since, but certain things happen that forces us to interact.

Last night we were talking, and he said, “remember when we died?” I replied with, “you mean when we got in a car crash and we watched them take our bodies away?” We were referring to the car crash that crippled me even more, making it almost impossible to move my arms, which are stuck in bent positions, preventing me from stretching my arms out, though I try to. We were trapped in a car on a racing track (we had intended to race, but it wouldn’t move for some reason), and we were rammed so hard, we were both thrown out of the car. He was thrown off track, dead, and I was thrown onto the track, dead. I lay there in excruciating pain and watched as more race cars ran over my body, mutilating it. Then I saw them pick me up and load me into an ambulance where they zipped me into a body bag. This isn’t the first time I’ve been conscious after death.

We came back to life somehow, like I always do, and now we’re kind of mutual, but only greet in passing.

Kai

Ever since I got my Zanpakuto, Graver, I’ve been training with some of the Thirteen Guard Squads and Ichigo from the anime Bleach. Rukia is also there, and sometimes Orihime is there to heal. Sometimes I carry Graver around, but he has a bad habit of not fitting in his sheath and constantly cuts me and other people.

Kai is a recent projection. He came to school with a few other Japanese students for an exchange program, and he always comes over to me when he sees me and cuts me with his sword. He is sexy as hell, but I started out hating him and begging him to stop cutting me. Apparently dream me is fluent in Japanese, and his friends told me that he doesn’t dislike me at all, but likes me a lot. He cuts me as a form of teasing, like when a little boy pulls a girl’s hair when he likes her.

Then I fought Kai. I didn’t win, but I was good enough for him to want to train me. He also wanted to be with me, and I rejected him because I was with Michael. Still, he took me through some trials like a video game, and I got to a boss fight, though I wasn’t the only one there. There were much more experienced sword fighters there, and I… quickly got killed. The sword of the boss went right through my side, and I collapsed. Since then, there’s been an acute pain where the sword pierced (in my dream world, not in real life, that would be weird).

Kai wanted to take me out on a date after I healed… from death… but I rejected him again. He has teleportation powers that he demonstrated during our fight, which is why I didn’t win, and he used them to suck me up into one of his black, tornado-like portals. It knocked me out, but I slowly awoke to being carried over Kai’s shoulder, and I fully awoke in a bath tub with candles and rose petals.

He was sitting next to the tub and explained he wanted me to meet his parents. I said, “I told you know, and you kidnap me, undress me, and put me in a bath.” I was still weak, so I was kind of amused. He said he didn’t touch me; his honor would not allow that. But since I seem to be a slut in my dream world, I told him to get in the bath with me, and then we kissed and had sex.

I later found out he was arranged to marry another woman, and he had to cut things off with me before the wedding. I got mad and obsessive, created a black hole, and sucked the woman up. I got a nice sword up the vagina, which went all the way through my mouth (it hurt like crazy), and tried to send Kai into the black hole. However, I got sucked in instead and spit out into a different dimension, which I don’t really remember. I do remember that everyone was slate grey.

I still see Kai, but he seems to have reset, remembers nothing, and has gone to cutting me again.

The blonde teacher who hates me

She has mid-length blonde hair and looks exactly like my aunt Jenny, who is a fucking demon in disguise. This teacher just HATES me. Because I’m physically crippled and can’t talk very well, she acts like I’m an idiot, like I can’t learn. When I turn in homework, she rips it up, even if all the answers were right. The entire class hates her. She calls me ugly, retarded, and gives me detention when my multiple injuries and trauma force me to fall asleep. I often wake up in a completely different place with no recollection of how I got there.

Ugh, my mind is blanking. I know there are more, but I’ve got a really bad headache. I also want to make a post about projections based off of real people and characters, but not right now.

This post may contain typos, as it has not been proofread.